omg. i m 43kg! yay. my weight-gaining plan is succeedg. haha. but definitely hope its not fats. but i just had fries n chips... uh.
i m supposed to do some wk b4 usg the comp. but plan failed as usual. n i m supposed to stop bloggin so tt i can stop thinkg. n dis plan oso failed. nvm.
i just found out from sand's blog tt jus thinks "ppl befriend u just because u know how to do work that they dont". hey, i actually had tt thought too. coz its like i m such a borg friend who doesnt give much response when ppl talk to me. n i m so mean too. (like how cld i hv let jus sit wif nic n get irritated by him. tt's so mean of me. n i ended up still not being able to think anyway. coz though 2dae we managed 2 get jasper n jiayuan to sit dere, nic really did stupid stuff to distract every1.) n i do all sorts of weird stuff n hv weird way of thinkg. wldnt wanna hang out wif someone lidda ma.
but actually its just what the real world is like. nothing is fair. ppl hv fun with their fun friends they like to hang out wif n do wk wif ppl who can help them. n i just want too much fairness n m just too selfish to b unable to accept tt. still hvnt been able to learn from pam abt stop hvg selfish thoughts.
kk. tt's all the tinkg i shall do for this post.
can dey just stop sendg me spam. its like in 6days, i hv like 140+mails n like 120 r spam of all kinds. what on earth happened to my account.
today's horoscope
AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): You might be obsessing now over something that's just out of reach. It may not be the focus of your life, but you could waste valuable time and energy spinning your wheels in pursuit of the unknown key to your life. Sometimes it is best to just let go of an idea or a desire that has not come to fruition. Look back over the past weeks and make a conscious decision to move beyond whatever it is that has been holding you back.
uh. more stuff to think abt. hm. its says i m wasting valuable time n energy on sth tt's holdg me back. yea, i think its talkg abt the class causing my academics to suffer. tt's so true. so accordg to the advice, i m supposed to let go. so i shld sit alone n do stuff w/o caring abt the class. but tt's such a poor attitude n its impossible for me to let myself do tt n i wont b able to survive lidda either. argh. conflicts. with no soln. argh.
hmm. guess i really cant stop myself from thinkg.
i think on an individual basis, ignorance is truly bliss. its like the more u noe n the more u think, the sadder u get. though on a "community" basis, its better coz u care.
tuesday..
saw mdm tye in the morn. so she's back at ny. gd 4 ny. she's a great tchr.
b4 phy tutorial. carried out the integration project. anyhow changed all the girls' seating position. seemed abit mad, movg ppl's bags ard.
after sch, walked ard toapayoh wif sand n xin. went to tpy lib. hvnt been dere for ages. n it still looks the same. n i found dey really read alot. i borrowed princess diaries. k, i m finally starting to read.
wednesday...
we rehearsed pub stunt. its really funny n lame. really admire how ppl come up wif such ideas. guess its kind of a natural thingy. youzhi veri poor thing, got swept on the face by the broom a few times. so dirty. weixian looks a bit harry potter-ish, has tt boyish look, esp when he smiles. n lydia's acting was super pro.
thursday...
phy lecture. took photos as attendance takg. mr yong was so funny. seemed like he was so excited abt it, gave me tt kindda child-like feelg. looked so happy. n he laughed. quite amusing. or mayb it was coz i was in my siao siao easily tickled mood since i was laughing like mad over jus speakg mandarin.
pe. one of the most fun pe so far. hadnt had so much fun in a very long time. played netball w/o proper rules. behaved like a child. felt like 1. hahaz, i m getting childish nowadays. kinda reverse thingy? coz i cant stand stayg matured n thinkg too much. a child's life is much simpler.
den we were supposed to hv sectionals but it ended up becomg individuals. den we slacked b4 it got dark n we finally had a really short sectionals. it was windy, peaceful, only a few ppl ard, not tt bright n dere's not-so-noisy music. like tt nice calm feeling.
friday...
math lecture. every1 was eating jiayuan's bubblegums sent over by post. was wonderg how come the post office didnt check. but its rather kind of him to share wif the class though we kindda always leave him n jasper out. guess we shld try to start talkg to them (not only when necessary). quite difficult though. n russell can really blow big bubbles. den cheryl was like trying to hide her blowing. she's really smart. cld do the egs on her own str away.
i dont noe if its tt i cant think 2dae or i m really getting more stupid or its really difficult but it cant b tt difficult since others can do it. this is getting scary. it was like i cant absorb wat the tchrs say. i only copy durg lectures, n sometimes i stone off. n 2dae i got everythin wrong for phy n chem tutorial. n i didnt copy down everythin n understood only very little though its tutorial n we r supposed to b able 2 absorb more durg tutorials. i m so dead.
anyway, durg tutorial, i decided tt sandra is a really nice frien coz she was really helpful like when i had qns. though i cldnt conc.
the class made me sad again. i felt like crying. but somehow i just cldnt cry.
hmm... i cant seem to find any post where i talked abt the class makg me sad though i hv the feeling tt dis happened b4. nvm, shall talk abt wat happened 2dae.
i started the day wif myself in a cheerful mood just like how i always try 2 cheer myself up. even jiayun noticed tt i was in a very happy mood. then i thought abt it for a moment b4 answering its coz the class hasnt made me sad yet. tt was b4 the 1st lesson. n how true cld my answer get.
by contact, my heart already felt very heavy. there lao shi, lionel n xinyu were trying to get serious matters settled but most of the class were chatting among themselves. n joyce was also getting very frustrated, cldnt uds y our class is lidda, n asked me. cant say i was paying full attention either, which made me feel worse. n i plainly answered tt's just how dis class is. lao shi oso noes the prob wif the class n tried to tell the class in her usual kind manner tt we hv to participate more actively in class matters but i think those ppl still didnt care.
den sandra tried to get the class to change seats but the guys simply pushed away the idea w/o carg abt the rationale behind, ie to integrate the class. they just dont care or to put it more crudely, they just dont give a damn. argh, tt sounds really vulgar.
anyway, perhaps another reason y i got so sad was the gp hw. oh ya, now i rmb, it oso got me sad the other day when i was trying to do compre. both times i stared at the paper for extremely long period of time wif the end product almost the same as wat i began wif. n both times i end up feelg very guilty coz i hvnt completed the hw when its already gp lesson.
hmm.. i think me trying to do last minute gp hw + the presence of the class = me getting nothin done at all + feelg really frustrated n sad + all tt time spent totally gone to waste
hmm... the more i think, the more complaints i hv abt 04s09, the more depressed the class makes me feel. yet i can still put myself into my cheerful mood. n still want to b in the class coz of the nice individuals ard. how conflicting can things get.
enuf abt the class.
joyce kept getting depressed over not being able to do some qn. n for every qn, she gets depressed so its quite frequent. n it made my heart feel really depressed whenever she does tt so i felt quite irritated coz i dont like being made depressed. den i explained to her my situation n she replied tt actually she's not tt depressed, she just acts tt depressed, n she's already very used to doing tt, so i dont hv to take it so seriously. but i cant. sometimes i just take things tt r not meant to b serious too seriously, n its doing harm. argh.
it seems like pam n i r really similar in a way tt when we r depressed, we need to personally stop it n not complain to others coz tt will only make things worse. n she oso wldnt want to interrupt ppl who r doing their own wk/listeng to the tchr coz its not nice. n its sometimes ok for us to go ard alone. wow, how rare 2 find some1 tt similar. but though we r veri similar in some ways, we r veri diff in others. eg academically, we r opp. she's better at eng, me sci. but both chi lousy, prac slow.
k, no time to analyse further.
after sch, took the same bus as huitian. hvnt chat wif her 4 quite a few wks. shared the probs we hv wif each of our classes. hmm.. in jc, ban1 ban1 you3 ben3 nan2 nian4 de4 jing1. i miss my classes in ny. ppl wldnt talk bad abt friends. mayb its coz i got into classes where every1 was simple n nice. (ht said it cant b tt the whole ny is lidda) n doing wk in class isnt seen as sth tt's wrong. n we worked hard 2gether. participated actively in class activities. when its time to wk, we really wked. when its time to play, we really played.
oh ya. i forgot to mention. i fear losing lionel as our ct rep. w/o him to lead, our class will definitely get much less like a class than wat we already r now.
the guys in class do not take what the girls say seriously.
wow. hvnt signed into msn for 2wks. new record. but just signed in liao. hmm, i tink its better to sign in once in awhile. not so sian. more fun to chat. n save the wkday-nites too.
n i found out i cld hv passed by ppl i noe hundreds of time w/o noticing them coz i when i travel, i m too unobservant to my surroundings. mayb is bcoz i observe the ppl i noe too much so when i dont, i m totally ignorant
dis wk is meet eugene wk man. last wk find him oso cant. dis wk nvr find him but end up meeting him twice. but both times is he see me n call out to me. otherwise can add to my "pass by w/o noticg" list. monday at nj busstop, met him n janice. dey got qing2 lu:3 xiang4. hahaz. den 2dae, met him n jeremy at toa payoh mrt. den jeremy said he was supportg eugene's soccer match on thurs in nj n saw me (but i didnt see him). so tt's another 1 on my list.
oh, i m supposed to clarify tt zhinvee actually doesnt like cheryl. ah, let me paste wat he just said here:
one day,i and russel were looking for people to play bridge. The he ask me go ask cheryl and xinyu to play,so i went up to them and ask,they agreed and then continued toking to each other,then russel say:"eh ask them properly lar,not as if u asking them on a date like tt."the russel was about to go ask them when suddenly...Gerard said:"dun worry zhinvee i ask them for u" and he told cheryl tt i want to ask her out on a date. i din say anything
hahaz, clarified. so i m not guilty of spreading untrue rumours abt ppl. coz i noe its really irritating.
argh. my face is getting oily nowadays. bad sign.
oh ya, today zhengxuan really pissed mr ho off. quite scary.
ah, i m quite a talkative mood todae. gd. i m back to myself. didnt stay in depression :) cheer myself up.
k, its time to blog abt wat has happened. actually i restricted myself from blogging coz i didnt wanna waste time but i cldnt restrict myself from thinkg...
so here i m.
kz, so back to last sat. ran 6rnds. band. n surveyed more ppl. guess my sec sch. karen said i hv cedar look! den after more wrong guesses, she changed to elimination. said nt rv, den nt ny. hahaz. so funny. kz, i m bo liao. anyway, den janina's 1st guess was ny, n reason was the guai look.
after band, slacked ard, played cards in band rm b4 headg 4 acsb 4 dance nite. super coincidentally, i met huiling so we went dere 2gether. 1st time dere. acsb is such a cool sch. canteen like food court. washrm taps r automated. not even all 5-star hotels r so high tech. but i tink the audi was quite poorly designed. 1st floor so few seats. such a waste. n the circle seats r so high u cant see who's performing n view of the stage from the 1st circle row is blocked.
anyway, den pam n i were supposed to stand at the main entrance to tear tixs n give out free tees. i took the latter job n nearly went mad. we were supposed to just give 1 tee per tix regardless of the size/colour but it wld b quite irritating to get a tee of the wrong size or a colour u dont like n i didnt wanna collect hundreds of curses so i decided to try n give the right size n give in.
hmphz, i m so weird. dont noe y try to b so nice to strangers. den to my family n friends, i can get so mean. like if my mom complains to me, i will just say i dont wanna listen but when a stranger gets so troublesome, i still give in. damn weirdo manz.
anyway, den when the crowd started coming, i was driven crazy. den pam decided to swop jobs. hmm, she's too nice liaoz. i m such a lousy person, dont deserve an over-nice friend. of course i want the ppl ard me to b nice 2 every1 but not over nice to ppl who dont deserve it. aiya, me n my weirdness again. usually ppl will b really nice to ppl whom dey r closer wif n mean to ppl dey dont like, but i want general 'niceness' 2 every1. but other than being weirdly uncontrollably mean to closer ppl, i get affected by general 'meaness' to individuals n become mean to them too. hiya. dis is bad. i m becoming mean to too many ppl.
n the prob is i noe it. others mean jiu4 mean liao, i mean n noe its bad but still so mean... argh. its not good for me too understand so much. esp when i m not a nice person but want to try to b. its really difficult. but i cant allow myself to ignore it.
oh no, i m aching everywhere now. back, ribs, arms, thighs. ok, at least i dont hv any headache. shld b very thankful for tt. physical aches r not as bad as headaches.
ah, i just came up wif a reason y my inclined-pull up sux so much. i shld stop stuffing everything into my bag. ppl usually carry bks/files in their hands so dey use their arm muscles but i leave myself empty-handed. hmm, it sounds quite rubbishy but i suppose tt's y my arms r so weak.
k, back to dance nite. so we missed the 1st few dances. out of those i got to watch, some of the moves were really cool. n some moves were funny as in the weird kind. oops, shant b mean. anywayz, den i got jealous tt i dont even hv basic dance sense. nvm. den at the end, edwin proposed to cheryl. hahaz, no la, just gave her flowers. den some of us had supper.
sunday... spent almost the whole daytime stong at my desk n ended up hvg to rush hw till 2+am. boy, i can enter guinness world record if dere is a stong event.
monday...
ran 2.4km for napfa. really satisfied i got a. though ppl who didnt practise at all did better. really jealous tt they hv natural fitness. wat 11+mins. wat get gold every yr w/o practising at all. nvm, ren2 bi3 ren2 qi4 si3 ren2.
aiya, i forgot wat else happened. nvm.
wednesday...
chi. we had to write zuo4 wen4. i really deproved alot. spent 1 n a half hours ending up with less den 1 n a half pg of kiddish compo when we used to b supposed to finish at least 2 n a half pgs in an hour.
chem. ms tan got pissed off by the class's inresponsiveness n told us wat she wanted. hmm, i hv an over-adult-ish way of thinkg. wat she said is actually wat i hv been thinkg. she wants the class to b more active in answerg qns. n wants us to raise our queries, coz its very likely tt the rest of the class has the same question in mind, instead of discussing among ourselves coz the pt of hvg tutorials is to ask the tchr n clear our doubts. she doesnt mind if we r slow in learng or give wrong answers n r afraid tt the rest of the class will laugh at us (n tt's one of the huge probs wif sgrean students - when some1 asks a qn, the rest will like look at tt person in a weird way n like talk among themselves criticising tt person makg wat is actually a +ve learng attitude seem wrong n make tt person feel sad causing ppl to not dare to ask qns due to the fear of how others will laugh at u/criticise u).
but even as i noe all these, i cant say tt i m totally not guilty of being one of those who make comments abt the qn-er... haiz, my uncontrollable meaness n wanna-be niceness again. i just think too much abt hvg to b nice. n it just always comes after the meaness.
thursday...
academics.
i dont like it when ppl think i noe everythin n when i say i dont noe, they give me the response tt makes me feel like its my fault tt i dont noe coz i m "supposed" to noe coz i seem to noe everythin.
i dont like me being able to quickly accept new concepts but actually cant remember n apply dem durg exams. of course its gd to quickly accept new concepts but the prob is i dont score well durg exams. n we r not supposed to take scores as everythin tt matters but the prob is scores r wat singaporean students' lives are all abt now. 95% of university admissions still come from 'a' lvl n pw scores. argh.
den every1 starts bombarding me with qns n of course i wanna help coz wat's the pt of living when u only care abt ur own scores but the prob is i need quite a bit of time to tink thru the qn when usually others come up wif the ans straight away. so when its durg lessons, i miss out on wat the tchr says (which can b sth impt) n appear to the tchr tt i m trying to b defiant n not listen n chat among ourselves; or when i m doing my wk, i get broken off from my own train of thought which i require alot of time to track dem back. ok, i m getting selfish now. argh. i m always stuck between the hvg-to-b-nice me n the true full-of-probs me.
but y cant they ask qns when i hv nothin to do. i m so free durg those times but no one bothers abt me so i stone even when i dont want to (there r times when i want to). if only the times they ask me qns coincide with the times i hv nothin to do, den i can help them n make my life more meaningful instead of stong. bah. i noe m askg too much again. its actually my own fault tt i stone too much such tt ppl find it difficult to talk to me.
friday(ie today)...
new student leadership body elects campaign speeches frm 10am-3pm.
i think lingee is very poor thing. got shot at by the entire lt1. bcoz she said the wrong thing n was unfortunate enough to the get such a terrible response. but its really mean for hundreds of ppl to shoot at one person. who doesnt make mistakes. even really bad ones doesnt give the right for hundreds of ppl to condemn u. if only each of the hundreds of ppl cld imagine themselves being in lingee's shoes, n makg some really bad mistake. how wld u feel getting shot at. i wld hv cried on the spot. but the crowd will just boo even more.
hahaz, i can b a preacher. but i dont hv the right to. coz even i cant say i m nvr guilty of shooting at ppl. argh. humans r such terrible creatures. myself inclusive.
i can consider things from two different points of views, n i end up getting myself in a self-conflict...
back to the campaign speeches... its really wrong to judge whether a person shld get voted in just by the speech n wat dey do durg the campaigning period. although there r ppl who can make positively impactful speeches n r truly capable of being a student leader n doing their job well, this is only the minority. there r oso ppl who can make positively impactful speeches but will actually not do their job after they get voted in, n ppl who make boring speeches but will actually do their job. the 1st grp of ppl will most prob get in but they really make up a very small proportion. the 2nd grp of ppl may get in coz dey left a gd impression on the majority of voters, who oso happen to not noe the true bad them. n the poor 3rd grp of ppl will most prob not get in coz dey didnt leave any impression on the majority of voters, who similarily dont noe the true gd them. hence the body may end up being made up of a large grp of ppl who dont do their job. dis is bad. hopefully it doesnt end up lidda. but actually i dont hv to care. but den again i hv to otherwise dere wld b no pt in living again.
i felt like voting for the tchrs n yr2s instead of the yr1 candidates. the former were like so matured in their thinkg i really admire them. eg the new vp. though immatured ppl wld b like thinkg tt she's talkg crap, i thought what she said was really matured n correct (but i forgot wat exactly did she said liao). n to think i had actually initially thought she was a lousy person. n lydia was so serious. very scary.
after sch, we had pw discussion. i think tian en feels quite frustrated being in the only guy in our grp. esp when we start talkg crap but he noes he cant be too bossy or mcp-ish n order us to get back to talk abt the topic so he just keeps quiet. hmm, very poor thing
other thoughts...
i dont like it when ppl talk bad abt ppl behind ppl's back, esp when u r friends. i cant accept tt ppl can b friends yet talk behind ur friends' back. though i may b guilty of it sometimes, but just look from the being talked abt person's pt of view. u wldnt want ur friends to talk bad abt u w/o u knowing rite. or at least i wldnt want ppl to. i think its better to tell me. ya. i really want ppl to tell me.
n i m beginning to realised tt cheryl n gerard r really not as simple as i had initially thought. which is really scary since i took so long to realise. no, i hv gotta b optimistic.
but the more i see n the more i think, the more scary the world becomes. but the prob is i cant stop myself from thinkg n i cant run away from the world.
more abt ppl...
xinyu can really get super efficient when she wants to
serjing can actually just study comprehensive notes on his own n go for the exams. he doesnt really need tchrs
oh, n my learng style is quite different from general sgporean students. its like sgporean students r forced to study coz sg is lidda so we complain alot but foreign students feel privileged to come here to study so dey dont complain. guess tt's y i hv been closer to the foreign students back in ny. but now dere's so few ard me.
i dont like nicholas n terrence's learning attitude. dey keep distracting others from listening to the tchr, esp nicholas. den after tt he borrows others' notes to copy. its ok if its like u r slower in learng so u need help den i wont mind tchg but for him its tt he doesnt pay attention n even affect others. but at the end he still learns what others do n due to his capability in scorg n his mugging at home, he does better. this is so unfair. n its not like every1 else hasnt told him to stop it coz its really selfish. although terrence often does crazy stuff n distracts ppl durg lectures, he listens durg tutorials n answers qns.
its funny when they do crazy n irritating stuff to others out-of-lessons but dey r just not matured enough to noe when not to do it, esp nic who doesnt take it seriously when ppl really mean it when dey tell him to stop.
terrence is already beginning to show more of the matured side of himself in class, but durg the speeches he kept saying mean stuff. i think he n derwin r really super similar.
but den again, i dont hv the right to judge ppl. nvm.
hmm... how can i b so simple yet think so much. hmm..... oh ya. self-conflicting me.
napfa test.
i lost myself today. so not me. how cld i hv gotten so demoralised just over 1 thing. i m supposed to b someone who does not dwell over what has happened coz what's done is done. but somehow, i lost myself. n when i think pessimistically n lose myself, i lose control of what i do. today was really an extreme case.
i shldnt hv let myself try to behave like the ppl ard me. now, its not just ppl in class, even my section mates r like tt. when they think pessimistically, n say they cant do it, they end up doing better. when i think pessimistically, i end up screwing everything up. shld hv kept to the optimistic me.
i missed gold just bcoz i cldnt do 2 more inclined pull-ups. every1 else cld easily get c n above. i m so weird. my weakest event is what is so easy to others.
i noe i seem to b askg too much, wanting to get gold, but if i just wanted a silver, den i need not hv to bother practising running. den again, i found out its not really just me, i m in the wrong class. for s15, dey were like aiming for 20.. or for weaker ppl, 10. i just need a 6. but dis class wants silver. ya, its coz of the difference in thinking between the majority of the girls in this class n me. dey hate sports too much. not tt i like sports, but since i cld do it last yr, how can i not do it dis yr.
back to how i lost myself. so i cld only do 4 inclined pull-ups. usually fenella wld hv just shutup n let it pass. but todae i didnt. i behaved like others n complained abt it. n instead of a destressing effect which it wld usually hv on others, i got even more stressed up. n as the time dragged on n we had to wait n wait, it got worst. argh. if only i had kept to myself. at least i wldnt hv gotten so stressed up n screw up my standing broad jump. i let myself fall back n didnt break my fall. wat crap. ok, on dis, its really just me n my weirdness. anyone who have naturally broken their fall but i didnt. argh. fenella sux.
anyway. finally, i was home so "early". only 5.20pm. its finally friday again. i survived. died at least once though.
back to wednesday. international friendship wk celebrations. fusion dessert. it was rather messy. coz everything wasnt planned out properly. but it turned out quite successful. i was basically hanging ard, zuo bo-ing. wld hv been pissed off by ppl behavg like wat i did if i were one of those who had put in so much effort, like joyce who is a newcomer yet offered her own time (spent her tues nite wif another person making pudding).
arrrrgggghh. headaches sux. go away
anyway, so we were late for chi & den very late for math.
the whole class was so noisy during chem coz it was a relief tchr. only 2yrs our snr.
pw. was perspiring like mad. were in the hall n dere was no aircon... luckily we were let off early n i had time to eat. but it means less time for pw when we r already so much slower den other jcs.
can just foresee how we hv to frantically rush thru all the stuff (the subjects + pw) in time to come, now tt we r wasting so much time. like wat happened for bio last yr. were wks behind syllabus. ended up hvg to go back for extra lessons & do self-learng. n didnt hv enuf time for revision in class. but tt's only 'o' lvls so catching up isnt relatively as difficult 'a' lvls. like wat the tchrs n snrs hv been saying, in jc u really cant wait till just b4 the promos den start learng. can get retained.
joyce found tt i wld really like her ex-class coz they really mug during lesson time but after tt, they really play like mad n get really enthu abt hse activities. not like our class, hv fun durg lessons den after sch, play oso not very mad.
i keep letting myself get pissed off by the class. cld hv just totally shut myself off, but instead, i made myself get pissed. i just cant mentally accept the class being too different from the class i like. but of course, no one senses it coz i remain silent. which just seems like the normal me. unless i start talkg abt it n as pam pted out, my "evil vein" (as she calls it) pops out when i m agitated.
initially, it started popping out coz of pe. physical training. now it shows up even more liaoz. hm.
band. had headache & nearly fell asleep when rhoda was tuning the other sections. however a few hours later when mr ho suddenly said tt's all for today, i was quite surprised coz my mouth wasnt all tt tired like wat it usually wld. den i was quite shocked to find tt it was already 7+. usually i wld b lookg at the clock at 6+ n waitg for the end.
oh ya, mr ho settled on the repertoire. so we r only playing 6 pcs. but most r twice as long as the usual pcs we played in sec sch. another diff was tt the discipline is much slacker in jc.
thursday.
nearly made the chi tchr cry. y cant dey just respond to her... actually i noe y. most of dem r too englishy. take chi only bcoz dey hv to. but we r chinese.
den i was trying to do compre but cldnt think. my mind just cldnt process the words. spent free period & lunch doing a few minutes worth of wk. tt's so pathetic. luckily mrs nair allowed the deadline to b pushed back to fri. guess i really hv to cherish the silence i hv durg the wkends to finish up watever hw i can.
gp. was hvg headache thru out the 2 hours. n mrs nair was standing right beside me n her voice was so loud it only worsened my headache. she spent some time talkg to our grp n i found tt she tinks quite similarly to my dad, who had wanted to send me sembawang sec coz he tinks wat wld become of me depends more on myself n not the sch n furthermore its right in front of our flat. i can see the classrm from my rm. mrs nair also doesnt mind sendg her son to an average sch as long as its convenient.
math. luckily the headache subsided n my thinkg improved.
pe. conditiong. everythin was ok except for push-ups. nearly die for it. my arms r so weak...
soccer match ongoing. nj vs aj. eugene said he wld b playg but i cldnt even find him. so weird. anyway nj won. better not ask him. wld b quite disheartened liao.
sectionals. the snrs kept trying to slack n poor softspoken cleopas was hvg difficulty takg us as usual. but when he plays, he's like totally different person. so confident n professional.
at nite, luckily i managed to get past the sleepy period n finally started doing wk at 11. otherwise todae i wld really die for not handing up gp n phy. but i died for chem la.
friday. yup, on to today. so i admit my hair is just not suited to b tied up. it was like tt in pri sch, n it still is now... it doesnt stay tied up, n makes me look weird. waste my almost 6 mths withstandg the heat n irritation trying to keep it esp durg the past few wks. watever. got my bro to cut liao. n boy did he cut alot. amted to a dustpan full sia. now i really hv very little hair left. so much dropped. so much cut. now i look so tomboyish. bah. wat's cut cant b glued back.
ya, abt y i died for chem. lecture test on 1st period. left the 1st page totally blank. 1st time in history tt i did so? i think so.
math lecture. felt like stuffing the mike into his mouth. kept shouting into the mike. i hate overloudness.
econs. every1 was like so uninterested.. i agree she doesnt tch well but since we r stuck wif her, we hv to try to stop her nonsense n get her to teach us wat we want ma.
den after econs lecture test, it was lunch but the class spent like half an hour stong. really proves tt our class is actually not all tt fun as it sometimes appears to b on the surface. there r times when every1 gets excited n talk loudly but we can really stone as a class. joyce n i tink quite alike in dis aspect. sensed it too. cant take it too.
i can stone on my own but not wif every1.
ok, on to sth happier. its sandra's bdae. xinyu got a cake for her n wanted to give her a surprise durg free period but as observant females, sand got to know it b4 hand liao. but its still nice
den justine n gerard were bickering over the strawberries n berries on the cake. like xiao3 liang3 kou3 zi. heez. n rard was planning for 'revenge' on jus's bdae liao.
den i left the class for a short while. had nvr really got away from every1 to walk ard alone durg sch hours. not tt i like being a loner. sometimes i just need to b alone with silence.
den we were waitg for our classrm to b vacated n zhinvee officially confessed he likes cheryl. hahaz.
physics lessons r getting much better now. ppl r startg to become more willing in voluntarily respondg to mr yong. nice. ppl always need others to get the ball rolling. glad tt it is now. hope it will b like tt for the other subjects too.
say wanna change places so long liao still nvr change. *pouts* (on purpose, not the subconsicous one)
but i doubt any1 will move to the 1st row. lets wait n see wat the change will b like. quite eager to find out. hopefully a change for the better.
argh. y does a quite nice day (yest) always hv to b followed by a very bad day (today). argh. i cldnt think academically. my brain was feeling so tight the whole day. the thoughts were like trying to squeeze thru a tiny capillary.
cldnt uds econs lecture coz i cldnt concentrate.
physics tutorial. we got stumped by dis momentum qn abt astronauts playing catch game in space. only gerard was answering with xinyu n gang helpg. i tried to ans qns but got everything wrong... n was quite pissed off coz i knew dere must b ppl who noe the answers but r just unwilling to answer. though i myself do do tt sometimes.
math trigo lecture. was simply copying. chem prac skills lecture too.
chi. felt like i hv wasted 6 yrs learning higher chi. forgotten all the words. a disgrace to my sch. sap sch. a disgrace to my family. chi-spkg family. such a strong chi env yet my chi sux more than ppl in eng env. yucks.
chem prac. was so slow. titration results were way off. 3cm cube more than every1 else's. cldnt even do the qns though we did them b4 n i had known how to do dem then. ended up copying from sandra.
n i was treating every1 so badly. argh. the true spontaneous/impulsively bad me is coming out. the closer i m to ppl, the worse i treat them. n the reflective/reasoned thinkg tells me tt wat i hv just done is bad only after i hv done it, which is already too late. argh. this is so irritating.
I CANT THINK W/O BEING ALONE! aaarrrggghhhh!
i hv nvr been able to. yesterday i cld. then today i cant again. *frustrated*
n i even allowed myself to indulge in icecream n chips. *yummy*. but *unhealthy*.
really wish to just run away from everythin. a thought tt has always been n will still keep reappearg in my mind. but obviously its impossible. argh.
just read my horoscope...
AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): You really do have an ideal vision for the future of the planet and it disturbs you how far off things are from your perfect fantasy. In fact, you may feel quite lonely because you just cannot relate to what humans are doing to the planet, other animals and even each other. You feel uneasy about what's going on, but you don't have a quick and easy solution. Why? There isn't one.
m suffering from sleeping only at 2+am dis morn since 2+pm just now. headache. but doesnt affect my thinking i think. just the constant pain to tell me tt i shld slp but my eyelids arent tt heavy.
todae's quite a nice day. toked quite a bit n cld oso concentrate durg lessons. gd sign.
in the morn, jiayun n i were tchg each other econs. very gd peer learng :) .
cant depend on tt lousy econs tchr. though we both kena her...
hv loads of hw to complete n 2 tests to study by these few days none of which i hv done. not supposed to b here.
nvm.
i think i like the way the present phy lecturer teaches. though he trys to b lame but it isnt very funny.
pe. had conditiong. ran, push ups, abdominal exercise. rather bad but still managable. the st nicks peeps (sand n cher) were in some st nicks peeps' madness after pe. hahaz. super hyper. *raises eyebrows*
joyce has noticed tt our class actually isnt all tt bonded as it appears to b on the surface. true. but luckily the situation is improving.
ms sim wasnt here for math. n every1 was helpg each other wif the assignment n stuff. gd sign.
econs. after stayg up so late to do the essay, she didnt collect every1's. handed-up anyway. shall make her mark if she doesnt. she's always wasting time on unneccessary stuff like reading out the qn repeatedly n waiting for ppl to answer her qns n repeating tt she needs to go fast but when it comes to things we really need to learn, she just 'glides' over them. argh.
phy prac. i was so slow. bad sign. oh. i just realised y. cld b coz of my tiredness. in addition to my usual lack of time management. gotta improve in tt.
soccer match at nj. felt a sense of joy when the supporters cheered though i hadnt even got to know which team scored. its kindda weird coz i didnt even feel all tt happy when it was announced tt nycb got gold. i think its the happiness i cld feel in the cheering tt brought my sense of joy.
den found out nj was thrashing nyjc.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): Your current dilemma may involve the pull between wanting to be spontaneous and the need to hold your feelings back. You want to say what's on your mind, but may fear that if you do speak the truth, you'll offend someone close to you. Ultimately, you'll probably be driven toward expression, but not without a lot of worry first. Remember, your true friends want the real you, not a version that is diluted just so it can maintain social acceptance.
wow. today's horoscope is really accurate. though it doesnt really suit 'today'. its more suitable for 'generally'.
well, yest, i finally ran 6 rnds. after failing to do so for the past 3 saturdays. rather satisfied since i jogged/ran all the way. though i was still half a round slower den jiayun who hasnt been running at all.
so aaron n joyce hv finally decided to join band. dey werent really committed to join band. he came once b4 the hols. den he wasnt really keen on joing band so he didnt come anymore but i suppose dere wasnt any other cca to join so he finally had to join band. joyce too. came a couple of times at the beginning of dis term, left. finally came back. so bad. n both of them r now in the same class n in the same section n playing the same part. clarinet 2.
i got caught redhanded smsing durg band prac. argh. worsened the impression mr ho has on me... he already didnt like me since the veri beginning... must b our ba1 zi4 xiang1 ke4... n i kept laughing at the funny things he said/did though those were not supposed to b laughed at (hence i looked like i was purposely being mean)... die... my weird sense of humour is doing me harm...
hmm... so other than additional day of sectionals, there's gonna b weekday night pracs 3 times a wk excluding the usual wednesday practice for the 3wks prior to the concert. 21 may. prepare to die. n guess wat we'll b hvg for dinner. bread twice n mixed veg rice once per wk. argh. i rather pay more n not hv bread. but not every1 can afford. haiz. i'll soon develop a bread face with bread not only for breakfast but oso for dinner... argh.
this wk has been extremely exhausting. very busy too. didnt even get to use comp (except at 5am to burn class photos disc...). after 3 wks of slackg, its finally really time to start doing hw again. my new timetable sux. mon, tues, thurs end at 5pm... fri, 4pm. y do dey hv to add the 2 empty periods in... make the days so long... as if it wasnt long enuf. argh. i m so tired. n its only the beginning.
kz, shall start from mondae. the 1st period was phy lect. hmm.. it seems to feel tt it was rather long ago though its only 3 days. anyway, pam kept a place for me so i sat nxt to a new person, sing ying. knew i had to start the talkg coz i'm 'older'. not easy for new ppl to start. found out she's actually from band but dont wanna join liao. hiya.. otherwise can hv a fellow band member in class.. its not nice being the only one, so many cons. like durg band dere's no 1 to ask abt class stuff n vv. n no 1 to accompany me when gg from band to class every morn, n class to band. esp now wed got pw, only hv so little time to eat, n if i follow the class, i'll end up late every wed. hmm.. hafta come up wif a plan.
anyway, back to monday. dere was pe. had to wear the ugly guy's shorts. y do they hv to stop producing girls' shorts. n i dont noe y i didnt buy last term when i bought the pe shirt. stupid. hope dey dont force us to tuck in.
oh ya, huitian was veri sad. her pe period was same as ours. at the end of it, she was crying. initially, i didnt even noe. by the time i knew, she was already recovering. hmm.. its really horrible being left out. i've been thru it, though i'm quite a loner, it still felt bad. n its much worst for ppl like ht who really need friends.
den dere was math diagnostic test. my poor time management skills did me much harm.
econs, we got back the same lousy tchr. argh! help!
gp, mrs nair. a thousand times better than ms wan. dont noe y both m'sians. i like my gp class. veri active in proper discussion. positive learners. veri gd. can learn from dem. previous gp class was only s09 ppl. always sian diao during gp... n combined wif tt ms wan, didnt get to learn anythin in the 1st 3 mths.
oh ya. council. had wanted to try but finally decided not to coz i m too quiet. n will get freaked out when speakg in front of large grp of ppl.
on to tues. during physics tutorial, we had to answer qns while gg thru the tutorial, n i was freakg out. but no 1 knew. sandra even said i was confident... hmm... seems like no one can ever tell tt i m freakg out when i m. rmb last time when i had to give a speech in class, den after tt i asked sum1 n she said i didnt look scared though i was freakg out.
wah, comp realli keeps me awake. its 1 now. if i had done hw, i wld hv fallen asleep by 9/10/11pm, which was wat happened on mon, tues n wed.
hmm... in the past 3 wks, i got to know my class so much more den wat i did in the 1st 10 wks. until the last day of term 1, i only really knew n tok to pam, huitian, n abit of yuxian n zhinvee online can talk alot. but only in the past 3 wks did i really get to know n tok to sandra, justine, xinyu, gerard, nicholas. the others only noe abit more.
ok, let me see how it started. sand was she just started tokg more to me at the beginng of dis term n she's quite an easy-to-talk-to person. jus n xin was from the stayover. n i found tt jus n i tink similarly. though we can talk, i still feel dere's a gap between xin n me mayb coz i still tink she's complicated. rard was since online chats, den face-to-face is gradual. he n edwin r the only guys who tried to tok to every1 since last term. oh ya, it started wif panpan, ex-ny gal whom i dont noe personally. she supposedly 'stalked' him. hahaz. but now over to hcjc liao. den at the bbq, found out he likes kim, who oso happens to b my ex-classmate. n he oso defend for we girls when we get bullied coz he can uds. nic is coz yq not ard so he goes ard bullying all the other girls. started from the coincidence dae n online.
hmm... for the others. estelle, started from an online chat durg hols n dis term she oso starts hanging ard the rest of the girls n easily comes up wif things to say to any1. but den again, i m confused. cheryl, guess we r too alike in tt we need the other party to start talkg. but neither does. so it doesnt realli start.
for the other guys, we dont really talk unless dere's sth. let me describe every1. hmm.. go down the list easier. yuxian, veri nice person; smart 6-pter; teased coz of her fringe; ex-fencer; now in co; veri gd in catching balls (prob coz of agility); sand calls her kaypo-xian coz always wanna noe abt gossip; softspoken; veri gentle girlish.
lionel, our ct rep; can b veri responsible in his role; ex-npcc; present bowler; veri gd at rich ppl's games includg pool; called coffeeshop ah pek coz every1 tinks he behaves like 1 which makes every1 laugh; usually speaks veri loudly but when he's soft, its so different, become so gentle; can b either like ah pek or gentleman; always "zao2 sia1"; has many individualistic behaviours n funny facial expression; easily mixes wif girls
terrence, canoeist; always do/say funny, silly, nuts stuff to make every1 laugh; extremely intelligent 6-pter though he seems to slack; cant pay much attention durg lessons but then again, he does (otherwise how 2 b 6pter); closet mugger; veri nice to gf
zhinvee, m'sian studyg in sg since p1; quitting bridge, joing guitar; doesnt talk alot face-to-face but alot online (same as me); has talent in soccer but cant join coz live too far n its a busy cca; avid football fan
serjing, likes to act ego, like wanna look gd, say his legs beautiful; pons, sleeps durg lectures/tutorials, but still noes everythin in the end, n when he's attentive, he asks qns; nice smart guy.
still cldnt withstand the tiredness last nite. or rather early dis morn. had to go to bed at 2am b4 i finished blogging. shall cont blogging now. fri. 10am.
hmm.. cont wif tues 1st, later den describe the others.
chi tchr, zhang lao shi. initially when she came into the classrm, i whispered she sux. coz she left a poor impression on me last term during a lecture. but i soon found out she's not bad after all. phew. coz she said durg lessons, we can just tell her our feedback to her teachg
chem tchr, mr tan ming ming, the hod or sth. we had prac. she wanted each bench to hv at least a 1girl, 1 guy. all the girl pairs were broken up to fill the benches w/o girls n finally it was down to pam n me... n the last bench to b filled had to b tt guy's... argh... so i had to move all the way to the last row. so far from the front.
n durg the prac, i toppled the bottle of sulphuric acid. but luckily the acid just rolled off my skirt coz its acidproof.
n as if not enuf bad stuff happened, when i was gg home, waiting for the train, dere's dis person who borrowed my hp to look for jobs. made me me like at least 5 trains... said just make 1 call... ended up makg 10... initially there was just 1 stack of classified ads... then she took out more n more stacks... i said i had to go, she daoed me... i repeated, she said wait, 1 more call, n dis repeated a few times... n i was freakg out coz she kept hanging on to my phone... so i looked ard but no 1 seemed to bother... argh...
bad day.
wed.. 2 h of chi. those ppl who dropped chi, xin, cher, sand, sj, singying, went to hv macs breakfast. hm.
den durg tutorial nic had to sit beside me coz all the seats in the third row were taken. argh. i can jolly well fail everythin if he continues sitting nxt to me. n sitting nxt to me is so boring. there r cons for both sides. me, i cant concentrate wif him trying to b irritating. him, he gets bored to death wif me trying to stone. he already doesnt wanna sit dere. but other than 1st row, dere's no place. argh. i must come up wif a plan.
pw, poor tian-en, only guy in my grp wif jus, joyce, sand. if u r lionel, u wldnt hv difficulty, but not all acsi guys r lionels... pw is veri chim. n so englishy. scary manz. n its 10% of local university admission...
oh, n nowadays nic keeps sayg jus looks at ppl's backside. hmm... *qn mk**qn mk*
band. there's dis new person from hcjc, non-ex-band member, ex-scgs, adeline. anyway, the pt is i asked her to guess my sec sch n she said rv or ny! i was so surprised. i actually hv the ny look. she said she cld imagine me in ny u. hmm.. diff ppl sae diff stuff. joyce said i hv st nicks look. previously when i wore cedar u some said i hv cedarian look. but thurs, dis new gp class frien beena said sc or ny. n another gp frien keefe said nanhua. ok... so i do hv the chi look. hm. or mayb i shall ask more ppl. its quite fun. hahaz. bo liao.
kz, so on to thurs, pam was not ard coz dere's strings concert.
hmm... now to think again, mayb the old s09 wld b better for every1. the rest of the class really misses them. n when they miss them, they r not veri happy hanging ard with the new class. n when dey r not happy, i cant b happy either. argh. dey like the old s09 coz it was the time when dey had lotsa fun. i really dont fit in. really. dey can b in the fun mood n absorb wat the tchrs say at the same time. but once i get into the fun mood, i cant absorb. so i hv to b attentive durg the whole lesson, even when its so boring. otherwise i wont absorb a single thing thru out the whole lesson. which is wat is happening nowadays n i m gonna die if this situation continues, with me hvg fun with them. in the old s09, dey hv fun among themselves (which is gd for them). though i get left out (which is bad for me), i get to concentrate during lessons (which is gd for me).
now it's veri conflicting. the fun ppl left, so i can try to fit in n hv fun. but my academic suffers. let me weigh the factors. hahaz, like history.. k. for short term, its gd coz i m not left out. but for long term, its bad coz at the end of the day, the pt of being in jc is to go to uni, so academic is more impt. but in life, friens r more impt. but in singapore, academic is more impt. n the huge prob is in this class cant handle both. i like joyce's 1st 3mth class. dey pay attention durg lessons as a class, do hw as a class, n after lessons, dey go out n hv fun until very late as a class.
n i tink the pt of attending lessons is to b attentive. dey can dont pay attention durg lecture but at the end of the day, dey still get everythin. best extreme eg wld b terrence. so pro. talk so much rubbish, hv so much fun, but will still end up knowing everythin. like wat i hv said, closet mugger. the rest of the class is oso quite like him. but i m at the other extreme. hafta pay attention durg lessons, appear like a mugger, but slack at home.
n wat's wrong wif doin hw. dey always make it seem wrong to do hw though dey do do hw.
ok, back to thurs, so pam wasnt ard. i miss my buddy. in jc, u really need a buddy to do things wif. both of us like to pay attention durg lessons.
econs, we were tryg to ask her qns but the prob is she just thinks tt we dont uds wat she just said so she wastes time repeating it n doesnt ans our qn. argh.
last lesson was pe. we ran 5rnds, n did shuttle run. my shuttle run sux. too clumsy. chi2 dun4. slow. bronze-causing factor. i dont like pe as last lesson. esp when dere's band after tt. argh. my fingers were trembling n i felt so breatheless. luckily i recovered soon.
nowadays i m getting hungry easily. i tink coz the days r so long. n my belly is bulging again. argh. y doesnt the food get transported to my poley calfless calves. argh.
k, cont wif describing the ppl. xinyu, in indian dance; has 2 veri contrasting sides: face-to-face veri funlovg talkative but actually observes wat's gg on n thinks alot n gets serious; psychologist, noes how ppl feel, reflective, but cant stand it coz she noes the badness but its veri difficult to handle; can b veri emotional; gets freaked out n really shows it.
justine, simplest person in class; other than me n pam, person who doesnt try to appear slackish; worries too much abt herself, looks down on herself; whiny voice, gets frustrated coz ppl dont take her seriously coz of it; loves to draw.
nicholas, softball 'captain'; behaves in a veri childish manner though he's mature enuf to constantly do hw; finds fun in annoying every1; very gd at mimicking.
sandra, in indian dance; 2nd simplest person who thinks she's not simple (oh ya, simple means ppl can tell ur feelings easily, not hidden); oso observes n thinks but not as much as xin; guai, controls herself in hvg fun, doesnt go overboard; is similar to jus's 1st 3pts.
cheryl, in western dance; rather hidden though not all tt complicated; similar to jus's 2nd n 3rd pt; oso quite a reflective person; doesnt dare to b the 1 to start talkg but can actually talk alot; veri smart 6-pter but denys it; extremely girlish (eg softspoken, gets veri excited over stuff she likes); pro-english; loves to smile.
pam, in strings; always anti-ing stuff (eg anti-strings, anti-nj, anti-gov); but oso quite like me (tt's y we hang ard 2gether): want to listen when some1's talkg, can hv the 'uds n is listeng' face durg lessons even if our mind is somewhere else (ie pro-daydreamg), stones, gets rude to parents, trys to b funny in the sarcastic way (but i think mine sounds more offensive so i dont like me); like cheryl, can actually talk alot; exaggerates but denys it; easily agitated; likes to b clean (jie2 pi4 as we call it); veri nice friend.
gerard, in gym n softball; nicest guy in class coz he can uds girls n cares for every1; looks veri scary at times; likes to slam his fist which he says is for fun; has lotsa friens coz he is a veri gd one; veri pro coz he can hv fun n oso pay attention in class though he gets bored; has been our class organiser; worries too much.
huitian left our class but i shall describe her anyway, quit cheerleadg, join co; oso quite diff fr the class like me coz we speak chi, n she left partly coz of the class coz dey anti-ppl n we dont like it but on her part its stronger n she hates econs so i didnt leave but she did, she's oso similar in tt we wanna do hw, listen in class (but she talks more), has loud n soft modes (but hers is much more of loud); can uds the true me; has funny lame ideas n makes every1 laugh; really acts ego.
estelle, softballer; veri gd in sports but denys it; all the guys like her, esp coz she's able to talk alot but meets wif probs due to it; actually does hw regularly n listens durg lessons but is oso super pro coz she has lotsa fun n talks alot n noes lotsa ppl.
lichung, still kinda disliked by the class but now dere's new ppl so its not so bad; always sleep in class but still super smart.
basically, our class is made up of ppl mainly who appear slackish but mug or r super smart; n some ppl who both hv fun n study; n me n pam who appear mug but slack.
shall add on to the descriptions when i tink of what to. n try to phrase properly coz i tink wat has been said is rather unclear.
wow. guess wat time it is now. its already 3pm. n i hv broken my own record of longest post ever.
lesson learnt:
do not spend the whole nite chatting n slp at 12+am after half a day of shopping when u hv to go to sch the nxt dae.
how the lesson was learnt:
i was dozing off the whole of 2dae. dozed off on the bus on my way to sch. ended up spendg half an hour walkg all the way from smu bus-stop back to nj coz i didnt feel like takg bus back n this ate away the time i was supposed to spend on runng. wat was more rubbishy was tt i was trimming my nails along the journey. hahaz. felt like a mental patient.
n i was oso dozing off during band prac. luckily mr ho didnt catch me or it'll b veri malu. he kept callg lydia n lee pei though n dey were so pissed off coz dey did nothin wrong.
argh. took sectn photos todae. hope my hair wont appear too messy. oh ya, shuhui n jurena were like saying dey cldnt recognise me from the back wif my hair tied up. dey thot i was some newbie. hahaz. oh tokg abt newbie, dere's yet another person joing clarinet sectn. karen's frien, adeline. used to b in pri sch band.
oh, n yest, thx to nic, i viewed webcam for the 1st time in my life! it was so fun man! cool sia
wah, super tired sia. just came back from a few hours of window shopping at ps. todae lessons ended at 12.20pm. but the class wasnt keen on gg out. mugging, cca or watever. so i went to ps wif yuxian n huitian. we had lunch at pastamania. shared baked rice n pizza. i like the baked rice :) veri nice.
den we spent the entire afternn walkg ard the entire ps. i spotted quite a few stuff i wanted to buy, like tt cute nice-to-hug star cushion or watever its called. but didnt buy anythin in the end. coz if i do i'll b spendg alot. n that can only happen when i go shopping wif mom.
so i just spent on eating. we went carrefour n yuxian wanted to buy sushi. i actually didnt but it was only 50cents n looked so delicious so i bought 3. den i oso ate andersen's icecream. cookies-n-cream topped wif choc fudge. yum yum :) hmm, i ate alot 2dae. alreadi had rice durg break. n napfa is comg. nvm. shall run tmr.
oh ya, forgot to mention. i tied up my hair! 1st time in my entire life i went ard wif my hair tied up! ah, a significant dae. hahaz... but i think i look worst wif my hair tied up. veri messy. n look like auntie. argh. nvm. see how 1st. realli ugly den i shall cut.
kz, so we left ps at 5+. quite a fruitless trip. spent so much time but didnt buy anythin. nvm. at least i learnt a new word. tote. hahaz. damn lousy, now den noe dis word. oh, n i got to noe wat stuff there r at ps. wah, me dis country bumpkin is makg great improvements liaoz. hahaz. let me try to recall. hmm... ya, i dont tink i ever went downtown after sch when i was in ny. was super busy wif sch n band. nvr ever dis slack. slack oso onli play comp at home or watch tv, didnt realli go out.
but i suppose we'll b damn busy again. esp the time nearing etude will b veri cham
oh, we noe tt mr yong will still b our phy tutor. yay. i like him. though he's veri scary. but i like him coz he writes down all the wkg on the board. not like the lousy econs tchr, only tok tok tok... like we can absorb n rmb everythin...
haiz... but mdm yeo n mr yeo wont b our tchr liaoz... so sad... i was askg whether can change back... but they say cant...
Do you tend to play it safe? Hedge your bets? Keep a stiff upper lip when it comes to sensitive matters? Nothing wrong with that — don't your friends tend to confide in you more than others? You're honest and trustworthy, and you logically think things out in order to come to a rational, smart conclusion.
Your mouth doesn't get you into trouble too much, and you can be choosy when it comes to when, where, and with whom you open up. There's a simple elegance to your quiet ways that allows you to stay in control of situations and, in the end, hold all of the right cards. After all, a little mystery makes everything more interesting
kz, anyway, the real new class list is out. 3 new girls only: joyce, yanlin, n an ex-scgs bowler, name i forgot. heez. 6 guys: same as previous + tian en
yest, we didnt hv any lessons. went for macs breakfast after the admin talk. celebrated zhinvee's bdae at macs too. den we went serjing's hse again b4 hvg lunch at delifrance n cca back at sch. wah, super slack dae sia.
todae, we finally stopped playing cards during free period. coz i suggested going to mug coz i hvnt dont any hw for the past 3wks. den every1 ended up in the library. but it was already filled n noisy.
Have Read
'04 year-end holidays (highest number of books read in a long time)
-The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (gd read)
-Princess Diaries: Third Time Lucky by Meg Cabot (fun read)
-Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom (must read - inspirational)
-Slab Rat by Ted Heller (full of office politics and R21 stuff - not for kids)
-The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (makes u want to finish it)
-A walk to remember by Nicholas Sparks (simple but meaningful)
-The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark (can identify with)
-The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks (romantic love story with too much R21 stuff)
-Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks (even more R21. ugh)
-The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery
-Unstrung Heroes by Franz Lidz (autobiography about his four uncles and father)
-The Rescue by Nicholas Sparks
-The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (very unique POV of an autistic boy)
-The Summerhouse by Jude Deveraux (love the breadth of the plot, one of my favourites)
-Wild Orchids by Jude Deveraux (alternating between two first persons' view - unique, but don't like e plot)
-Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder (philosophy tb in a story; gets abit dry though plot saved)
-forgot what i read...-
-Working Wonders by Jenny Colgan (story of an urban planner)
-Angels and Demons by Dan Brown (impressive intelligence with bits of great humour)
-Just between Us by Cathy Kelly (thickest bk i've ever read-600+pg, too long for me but not bad)
ha, started a few bks but didn't enjoy them enough to read more.
'06
-Life of Pi by Yann Martel (novel based on true story; a lot to learn from the book - animals, religions,
survival, appreciation of simplicity; marvelous descriptions of both the tangible and the intangible,
such that I could feel their realness; bits of very enjoyable humour; a must read)
-The Complete Analects of Confucius, Volume 1 - Asiapac Comic Series (some good teachings.
didn't read everything though)
-The Parable of the Pipeline by Burke Hedges (lent to me by Shujun; like she said, its a short version
of Rich Dad Poor Dad - good financial tips)
-The Alchemist by Paul Coelho (simple story with deep meaning)
-Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results
(hai, doesn't seem to be working for me - cos im not applying..)
-haven't been updating from Jun'06 to Jul'07-
'07
-Take a Chance by Sarah Webb (very interesting twist towards the end)
'08
-A Child Called "It" by Dave Pelzer (very saddening. made me realise how significant family is in how a child behaves)
-Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite by Paul Arden (refreshing book with many pics)
-The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Rui Zafon (amazing how people can think of so much plot to pack into one book, wld b a gd tv series)
-The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (the story is interesting but i think the ending cld hv been better written)
-This Book Will Save Your Life by A.M. Homes (a bit thought-provoking on relationships but i didnt like e abrupt ending)
-Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner (gd knowledge but partly qte repetitive)
-For One More Day by Mitch Albom
-The C Words by Mark Mason (made me keep wanting to read on. light & funny)
'09
-Return to Summerhouse by Jude Deveraux (another good read from Deveraux)
-The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (gosh such vivid descriptions! very well written book. i liked d theme of friendship and the realness of the story)
'10
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro (a must-read!! i love the expressed thoughts of the protagonist, esp those about friendships, and the writing style - it seems like she's telling me her story specifically to me)
How to Save Your Own Life by Michael Gates Gill (an inspiring read, for emotional liberation and greater joy in life)
Reading
on hold
The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals by Michael Pollan
Waiting for chance to get hold of
The Little White Car by Danuta de Rhodes
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
Le Scaphandre Et Le Papillon or The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
My Left Foot by Christy Brown
Gotai Fumanzoku or An Unsatisfactory Body (Translated into English as No One's Perfect) by Hirotada Otatake
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
Other Recommended Readings by Marc
The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin – Few books have had as significant an impact on the way society views the natural world and the genesis of humankind.
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell – Gladwell looks at how a small idea, or product concept, can spread like a virus and spark global sociological changes. Specifically, he analyzes “the levels at which the momentum for change becomes unstoppable.”
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens – This is a tale that lingers on the topic of attaining and maintaining a disciplined heart as it relates to one’s emotional and moral life. Dickens states that we must learn to go against “the first mistaken impulse of the undisciplined heart.”
Lolita – This is the kind of book that blows your mind wide open to conflicting feelings of life, love and corruption… and at times makes you deeply question your own perceptions of each. The story is as devious as it is beautiful.
Getting Things Done by David Allen – The quintessential guide to organizing your life and getting things done. Nuff said.
How To Cook Everything by Mark Bittman – 900 pages of simple instructions on how to cook everything you could ever dream of eating. Pretty much the greatest cookbook ever written. Get through a few recipes each week, and you’ll be a master chef by the time you’re 30.
Honeymoon with My Brother by Franz Wisner – Franz Wisner had it all… a great job and a beautiful fiancée. Life was good. But then his fiancée dumped him days before their wedding, and his boss basically fired him. So he dragged his younger brother to Costa Rica for his already-scheduled honeymoon and they never turned back… around the world they went for two full years. This is a fun, heartfelt adventure story about life, relationships, and self discovery.
Self-note: Tip for my future business =D
give employees reasonably high pay to keep them- otherwise they are unlikely to stay loyal.
treat employees not according to how well they treat me but how conscientious they are at work
(of course, musn't expect them to only do work throughout the entire working hours -
give some breathing space too, we are humans, not machines) Movies watched(listing started on 6jan08)
in cinema from VCD/DVD
1Sep07: "Hairspray" w TK, GH & SH
14Sep07: "Ratatouille" w mom & extended family
28Dec07: "The Pianist" w Jus & Pam (heartbreaking but good lessons; i recommend!)
2Jan08: "I Am Legend" w Sherm (scary! but good acting; thought provoking; i recommend!)
5-6Jan08: "A Good Year" alone (excellent show! i like the acting; funny; good lessons; touches my heart; i recommend!)
11Jan08: "Le Grand Chef" w WLing, JT & Irene (good! funny, very touching, :) nice; watch if like humour+meaning+food)
7Feb08 (CNY 初一): "Ah Long Pte Ltd" w parents (pretty hilarious - but u gotta understand dialects, some teary parts. wells typical of jack neo movies but with diff content)
11Mar08: "The Leap Year" w Sherm (so sweet! :) and apart from couple relationship it touches the theme of mother-daughter and best friends too)
6Jun08: "P.S. I Love You" w Sherm (don't know if its coz we watched it on laptop, coz it didn't impress me as much as it did for him in cinema)
8Jun08: "The Forbidden Kingdom" w Lisa, Karen & Sandy (ums..guess i'm really not into kungfu)
8Jun08: "What Happens in Vegas" w Lisa, Karen & Sandy (simple,relaxing show)
7Jul08: "我和狗狗的10个约定" w Sherm, his ma & sisters (very simple,touching but actually not my type of show)
10Jul08: "Before Sunrise" w Sherm (hmm maybe watchg on laptop really affects appreciatn of movies..)
30Sep08: "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" w Sherm (i didn't like it as much as i thought i wld when i saw the ads)
31Dec08: "Yes Man" w Mom (inspiring and funny)
11Feb08: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" w Mom (not as impressive as i thought it wld be)
1Jul09: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" w Yumei, YY & Matt (the best thing was the soundtrack. heh.)
14Aug09: "GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra" w Joyce (it was awesome! best action movie i've ever watched)
17Aug09: "Food, Inc." w SYL & RuiQ (learnt some stuff abt the American food industry but it was a bit boring and not worth the $10)
22Sep09: "The Time Traveller's Wife" w WB, VanD, WLing, CHL, Irene, VanQ, Mf, Pg (i liked it. having read the book really helps w udsg)
21Nov09: "Gokusen" w Mf, Eva, Tony, Sarah (funny inspirational movie)
24Dec09: "十月围城" w Tony, WLing, VanQ (action action and a bit funny? tony criticised the plot. my fav scene was the running n jumping through the crowd along the five-foot ways w/o cuts)
30Dec09: "Sherlock Holmes" w Irene, Tony, Sweetee (my favourite genre of books made into a movie - what else can be more cool? acting effects humour excitement suspense all in)
12Jan10: "Avatar 3D" w Mom (didn't appreciate the digital effects which everyone wowed about. content etc was so-so. cathay's 3D glasses were too heavy for me)
8Feb10: "The Truman Show" w Ky n sis n Yuhshin (a must-watch. very thought-provoking, funny. reminder to be spontaneous and create your life the way you want, instead of falling into a typical routine
14Feb10: "New York, I Love You" w Mom (I loved it! a good couple movie with meaningful pointers to keep it going. but i think some stories could be more developed)
16Feb10: rewatched "The Pianist" (still find it good, tho i still feel first viewings are the best)
17Feb10: "Valentine's Day" w CHL n WB (laughed throughout - a feel-good movie; liked the fact that the various stories binded tog so well with the little surprises here and there, vs NY ILU in which each story was separate)
20Feb10: "赤壁二" w Addy, Karen, Sharon, SJ (should have watched the first one first cos i ended up not knowing who's who and what's happening and had to keep asking :/ and couldn't pay attn.. if not i think it should be a pretty good movie..)
4Mar10: "Alice in Wonderland 3D" w Mf (i found the 3D effects of this @ CCK Shaw SO much better than Avatar @ The Cathay =/ and the movie was much more enjoyable too! - cheered a sad me up :)) favourite quote - the Mad Hatter: “You used to be much muchier before. ... You have lost your muchness.”)
18Mar10: "Nodame Cantabile" w Irene, Mf (i thoroughly enjoyed some of the orchestra pieces - SO impressive! the expressions of the actors were really amusing :D)
23Apr10: "Ice Kacang Puppy Love" w Mom (funny, touching and meaningful - about love between friends and family. i cried 3 tissues! cos some touching parts i could really understand the feelings of the characters involved)
Inception
Letters to God (very simple Christian movie)
22Nov10: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" w Ame, Irene (they loved it. pretty good, i guess the main problem i had was that im not familiar with HP :X)
13Dec10: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" w Sj (not bad, could follow the story unlike HP. like the meaningful teachings, too long - in a post)
2Mar11: "The King's Speech" w Ame (hilarious, inspirational, tho it doesn't impress me that much to understand why it's the Oscar winner)
Mar11: "10 Things I Hate About You" very funny. silly sweet high school romance. just right for having breaks in between doing homework
23May11: "Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides" w Wb Yl Ame Pg (pretty good - scenery, freakish parts, fighting scenes, dressing, humour, bits of Christianity like when the Spanish said "only God gives life")
6Jun11: "Xmen First Class" w Wb Ame Pg (i was very keen on watching it and it was really good! intellectual, makes sense, cool action, some humour)
9Jun11: "Legally Blonde 2" w Irene (seems like some dumb blonde movie but kind of meaningful too - speaking up for yourself and what you stand for)
17Jun11: "Something Borrowed" w Sandy Lisa (quite funny, somewhat meaningful wrt friendships. they didn't like the lack of sense for one part tho)
16Jul11: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" w Irene, Sweetee, Kw (not bad. i didn't understand some parts again but the humour and effects were pretty good)
Aug11 "Horrible Bosses" w Ma (she fell asleep! gosh. the movie was very crude i must say but there was the humour)
25Oct11: "The Three Musketeers" w H (i would rate it 3.5 for humour/intellectual language and 4 for action. it's by the same producer or director as Sherlock! but a bit less awesome albeit a good chill out movie)
5Nov11: "Real Steel" w Hl (action packed but not too hardcore for me. i liked that there was the father and son element and how the father eventually softened his heart and especially the part when charlie was having trouble telling max sth and max was so understanding saying "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." touching and demonstrates true fighting spirit)
12Dec11: "50/50" w L (adopting her words - a heavy topic put across in a lighthearted way, but not taking away d meaning. most of it was rather hollywood-ish trashiness but there were a couple of punch lines "u can't change ur parents, but u can change d way u respond to them.")
25Dec11: "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol" w KY (ultimate action packed! super tense almost throughout the movie, and interesting Tom Cruise made it such that not everything happened smoothly - he would jump and misland and get all sorts of injuries..it's really the courage to jump without hesitation even though you are not sure you'll be alive after that. KY loved d movie and said she would watch it again!)
3Jan12: "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" w KY (i love mystery (: and the witty sarcastic dialogues. good level of excitement with the action. didn't understand some parts as usual. i like Holmes and Watson they depict such a true pair of buddies ;D)
23Jan12: "You are the Apple of My Eye" w mom (now i understand why guys like this movie so much - the anxiety of chasing after a girl and the acts schoolboys do to get the girl's attention and hopefully affection. the initial fluttering and the subsequent quarrelling)
22Mar12: "The Iron Lady" w KY (really love Thatcher's sharp words. inspiring and thought-provoking, tho i was still left uncertain of what to do with my life, the movie is definitely an encouraging one)
29Mar12: "Barney's Version" w SJ (a funny movie of a screwed up life of a man who had 3 wives, smoked and drank but very heartwarming at the same time, the relationships with the dad and the 3th wife - quotable quotes!)
27Apr12: "The Hunger Games" w Mom
4May12" "Avengers" w MF n PS (funny, action-packed)
7Jul12: "The Amazing Spiderman"
21Jul12: "The Dark Knight Rises" (fantastic depth, loved the twists)
20Aug12: "ParaNorman" w Mom (simple funny animated movie, heartwarming support)
Performances watched (listing started on 25Apr10)
20Jan10: Patrick Marber's Closer by outoftheBLUE, NUS Science w Pam (
13Mar10: The Rain Came Down Like Pearls the Night I Died... The New Musical - Sing & Tell by Mark Chan w Addy & Jy
21Mar10: Quintessence by NUSCO w CHL