My 2nd public parking experience, which is also my 1st time parking between 2 other cars!
Heez this is at the carpark near Dover Market and the coffee shop next to it where my parents and I had our lunch after leaving HP Service Centre. My mom's posing next to the car. Heez my mom said my parking is not bad. Well the car is quite neatly in between the other 2 cars, though according to the parking lot it's way to one side. And on closer inspections it's a bit slanted la. But anyway this is just my 2nd time parking ever since I passed more than 4 months ago! And unlike my 1st time on Tuesday at Chong Pang where I took 3 tries to park the car within a lot that had no cars beside it, this time I only took 1 try :)
Oh anyway my uncle's car plate number has been removed using Paint for safety purposes. haha.
After lunch I drove to Sci Fac wanting to pick up my last CM lab report but dang 1-2pm was their lunch break. Then when I got back to the car my dad was already in the driver's seat la. Sianz so he drove me over to Temasek Hall. Oh ya I forgot to mention. My dad is such a lousy instructor, I ended up quarrelling with him a lot on when I drove coz his directions were either unclear or super last minute.
Gosh we took like 45 minutes to get from Temasek Hall (where we left at about 805pm) back home thanks to the route he directed and a wrong turn he told me to take (which he admitted soon after that turn). When a taxi ride to school usually took 30 minutes.
But anyway our family doesn't own a car.. so I won't be able to drive to school any more than once in a blue moon la.
Oh my parents were having dinner at my 6th uncle's place where my grandma cooked dinner so my grandma came along. Hmms by the way after dropping me off at Temasek Hall my parents had went off before coming back at 8pm on my insistence to let me drive once more before the car has to be returned to my 3rd uncle tomorrow when he returns from his holiday.
shit I edited my post to add in this part 2 paras long then I didn't notice that my laptop wireless had given up on me suddenly so I clicked publish post and ended up with the crap page. and now I've to retype on my home PC... sianzzzzzzz. I hate repeating so now I would cut it shorter... dang. anyway.... I forgot to mention that my legs got tired after half an hour of driving. and I'm an extremely dangerous driver at night coz I couldn't see the cars behind me due to my poor eyesight at night. At one point when my father told me I had to turn left, I actually changed lane when I wasn't even sure if it was actually safe! And coz of my poor eyesight, I took long to check safety in the mirrors and blindspot that I drifted towards the right curb once and the left curb once! my dad had to warn me. gosh. So I really peifu Sarah who drives to and fro school on her own! Especially since hers is a manual car if I don't remember wrongly. Managing the clutch and gear in addition to checking for safety is quite a feat in my opinion, especially at night!
Gonna go Temasek Hall study room again tomorrow to prepare for my LSM1301. Hms I concentrate so much better there as compared to any of the other places I've tried so far - my 5th uncle's place, Amelia's place, Sci Fac, Sembawang CC study room, and home which is the worst of all. Lucky that Zhujun kindly agreed to let me look for her there to study with her. Although we do individual studying, I am able to focus on studying most of the time and not have the bored feeling creeping on me. gosh I'm so dependent on peer pressure. Plus its a nice quiet place (apart from some of the others walking pass now and then) with aircon! heez.
When I went to the toilet in the evening, (this requires going from the 2nd floor pass the foyer to the basement,) I found that the weather was so nice! Made me happy. haha. Though it was just a few seconds. This is so much nicer compared to my experiences of doing work in the Science Library during the course of the semester, where the toilet is indoors. lol. And in the Library I kept going to the toilet coz I felt very bored and I drank quite a lot. I think Zhujun gives me good peer pressure to stay focused and somehow not feel bored either :)
but I was still extremely inefficient la... only covered half of lecture 3! ahhh. I'm such a sllloooowww study-er... I'm like re-learning everything since this is the 1st time I'm looking at the lecture notes ever since I attended the lecture, ie. 3months ago!
2nd time driving; 1st time long-distance on highway!
I just drove from home at Sembawang to HP Service Centre at Alexandra Technopark. Ah, I realised driving on the highway using auto car is such a boring thing! Gosh. haha. Just moving at high speed (up to 100km/h shhh) and not having to change gear is to me really boring.
Anyway its seems that my wireless isn't given any problem here at the HP Service Centre. Sianz lor it wasn't able to be connected at all at home... I called Singnet Technical Help this morning and the person told me its not the ISP's problem... Then now it doesn't seem to be my laptop's problem either. BUT it just doesn't work at home! Okay... I shall try later at school...
I think many people living in supposedly "tiny" Singapore actually don't know what's happening in 99% of the country
I went to school at 12+pm after having been pissed to the max by my laptop's wireless and because I had to calm down I did nothing on my way to school apart from listening to songs on my ipod nano, so I was observing my surroundings.
And I realised that actually many people don't know what actually happens in Singapore even though they have been living in Singapore for years. Its like people who go to work in the morning and go home in the evening will most likely only see other working people (well I've gone to work/school at various times in the morning - even the 2nd earliest train and gone home at various times in the evening and night so I know). Then usually its in the late morning or early afternoon that families with young kids go out. Like what I saw today!
At first there was a little boy and his parents. They look like PRCs. Anyway the boy was a typical naughty boy so I was quite irritated by him especially since I was already pissed. A few stops later another family came along. Initially I didn't realise the make-up of the family because I only saw the pregnant mom and the little daughter who sat diagonally across me. The others sat on the same side of the train before I even registered them as individuals. Then later I realised omg that's such a big family! Two little sons slightly older than the little daughter and another daughter who looks roughly lower sec (or she could be a niece). Gosh so including the unborn child the mom has at least 4 young kids! Although the 3 toddlers were moving about quite a lot despite their mom trying to get them to be seated, I found them very adorable.
But I noticed something. The mom was rather controlling of their every behaviour. Telling them what not to do. She was a nice mom though. Trying to be strict but not fierce. And the dad called! So nice. (Well I interpreted that it was dad's lunch break and concerned dad calls to see how mom's coping with the kids.) The mom was like saying "want to speak to daddy" kind of stuff. haha.
Anyway, ya, so it hit me how intelligent parents these days and in the future should bring up their kids. Precisely because they are intelligent having been through so much education, even without genetically creating a designer child, the upbringing method could be such as to create a child they think is good. And then there's the dilemma of how much to control and exactly what to do. In the past when even day-to-day living was a problem or parents weren't much educated, children were just brought up without such deep thoughts and plans. The main idea they had was just for their children to be educated so that they can have a better future ie. job.
Now with education comes more plans. Should the kids be sent for extra lessons? What extra lessons? What should the kids read? What can the kids do and what must be stopped?
Every step taken even before the kids are born would be given a thought. Then I wonder, what will things be like if I don't plan? Will I live to regret it? This applies to one's own life, but when one decides to have a child, its another whole big thing.
You are creating another life, and shaping another person. Whatever you do will play a huge role in whatever becomes of your child.
hmmss and if I don't remember wrongly, this is why several years ago there was the issue that adults who have higher levels of education were found to not have children or have less children as compared to adults who had lower levels of education.
wells. oh I have digressed from my topic again..
Erms. ya, so I think actually foreign students may actually spend 3-4 years and above in Singapore but actually not know what 99% of Singapore is like because most stay on campus or very near campus such that they don't experience what happens everywhere else.
Even locals too. It depends on whether one has the chance to travel around on various modes of transport - walk, bus, MRT, car. And whether one actually looks at what happens around them. Like I don't think many has experienced weird uncles talking to them. Which is what happens to me once in awhile like last Friday. Or the crazy uncle I encountered on Tuesday. Or the quarrelsome pair I encountered on my way back today. I couldn't see as it was too crowded but I heard a young man and an older man quarrelling suddenly over nothing much. Somewhere in the middle I hear the young man saying so what if he doesn't want to move in. It was a rather heated argument. But it died off la. I think unacquainted males tend to be more quarrelsome. This isn't the first time I encounter unacquainted males having an argument on the train over small issues.
lol I don't know how to end off..
bah no more brain juices to blog. I should start to study la. gosh.
gosh eversince 830am that I called HP Technical Support till now the problem of my wireless is still unsolved and has gotten worse!!!!!! So far I have spoken to 3 different support personnels each time I called back... The first one was good, the 2nd and 3rd... sianzzzzzzzzzzzz so much time wasted and its not even something that I enjoy, its something that pisses me! :(
ahhh im so not going to end up with a degree if i continue staying at home! im so slack! & i've been such a spendthrift this sem!
Haiyo I'm still on the same set of notes that I started on yesterday. 2 days not even 1 set of notes. Total number of lecture notes: 12. *faints*
Anyway I'm still accepting that its alright to slack. Although I know I shouldn't be slacking so much since I haven't studied for my LSM1301 at all! boo.
And I shall start recording how much I spend again. Not every expenditure this time though. Just total money in (ie. pocket money) at the start of each month and total money out at the end, to be calculated from how much is left on hand and in my bank account. haha mini-accounting. Anyway its totally unprofessional. Just want to know exactly how much I'm spending each month. Now I only know it has been a lot the past semester. too much. cut cut cut!
Haha I realised I don't remember the exact name of this dish, but its panfried fish with jap curry sauce and panfried potato slices at the bottom. The other main course we had we already started eating it before I remembered to take photo so I don't have a photo of it. Anyway its Thai style salad. There were prawns, mussels and mini octopus in that dish too. Both are nice. Erms not good at description la. But they were worth it. Okay another photo of the above dish including a part of the cafe name:
Oh ya back to my visit to KKH. So my concentration problem all boiled down to all my worries. Dr Helen taught me to set like 20/30 minutes for myself to concentrate on studying and 5/10 minutes after that to allow my brain to wander off so maybe it could help me concentrate. She also suggested that I go to school library which yup I am going to try again. Aiyo did it during the school term and it was quite alright but I ended up very tired whenever I get home so I didn't do it during reading week, end up couldn't concentrate. Dr Helen says ya it better to have some time that I'm concentrating la. Though I would be very tired. Oh ya she also suggested to help me relax, I can take a walk in Sembawang Park. Lol. Shall consider that. An issue is that its quite inconvenient la, must take bus there. And there are mosquitoes! According to my previous experience there which was last year. Hmms see how.
Shall go for a nappp before I start studying for my that important module LSM1301 gen bio and hopefully do the long overdue practice question for my SP1202. These 2 more exams left! mmm the old me would guilty-ly take a nap. The new me shall do it as something that's okay! :)
My mom just brought me to KK Hospital to see a psychiatrist this morning and Dr. Helen Chen assured me that my problem is all due to stress. hmms. Okay. Well. haha I don't know what to blog. My eyes are tired from crying when I got too emotional telling her all about me so I feel like sleeping now. k la, the $70+ my mom spent is quite worth it since my consultation was 1 hour and the outcome was a positive one! I mean having been overstressed is not positive but having assurance from an experienced professional that I don't have any mental problem is positive as compared to being unsure.
And today was the first time in I don't know how many weeks that I had a nice lunch with my mom. Been so overwhelmed with everything new - school, friends, CCAs - that I didn't even afford time for a nice meal with my mom. In the past I always had nice meals with my mom regularly like once a week or once in 2/3 weeks. Oh by nice I mean restaurant/cafe la. okie shall upload the photos I took in my next post.
yay finally had my 1st drive eversince I passed! gosh more than 4months
My Ah Hua Ah Zeh ie. Uncle Hua and family are on holiday so he lent my family his car coz I wanted to drive. So today after picking up his car from the carpark near his car, I drove under my dad's supervision and my mom at the back seat, to Chong Pang for breakfast before we went on a surprise visit to my mom's ex-boss, Uncle Toon's place at Lentor Terrace. My mom wanted to take a look at his newly renovated house and oh my it was really a vast improvement as compared to before. They did major changes (well its already now into the 13th month of renovation, nearing completion) and now its so much to be envied :)
oh anyway, Uncle Toon told me his kids put a nail screw wrapped in a piece of paper in their pocket for their driving test and 3 of them passed on the 1st time! haha myth or really works? no harm trying ;) Anyway his youngest son Nicholas was around and he responded that it was that he was good la.
Okay so after that I drove over to Amelia's place at Sunrise Way, supposedly to study but the whole day I only covered less than half a chapter! I was both bored and unable to concentrate. Then it got fun when Amelia got into a group msn chat with Peigen and Herman. Oh ya Amelia was showing us some photos taken during nanyang days. Wow she has a few photos of my 2/2 class, one of which I think I don't even have. Well my photos are I-don't-know-where now. Only very few photos of my 2/2 class. I should probably put them into an album someday.. well.. oh ya, I'm just so amazed how Amelia can be arguing with Weibin one moment and immediately the next second she's productively preparing for her exam writing notes or typing preparation answers. Gosh so powerful concentration skills.
Hmms anyway the car is an auto car, and I think its so brainless! As compared to manual car. No clutch and no gear makes driving brainless. haha. I must practise driving manual or I would have wasted all my money and time learning that! gosh. over $4000 if I'm not wrong... Oh ya, and I nearly rammed into Amelia's car when I was turning the car around outside her place. My dad screamed at me before I got near enough so I didn't la. Oh ya, some people are so over-reactive. It started to rain after breakfast so we rushed back to the car and I opened the door too quickly and knocked the neighbouring car. There was some honking but none of us realised it was from the neighbouring car until the driver knocked hard on his window and I turned to look. The driver was so pissed and telling us that I slammed my door into his car mimicking it by slamming his body against his car. gosh such a crazy fellow. yuck. over-exaggerating and over-reacting...
yay! my most overstressed period ever (reading week till chem exam today) is over! and big change~! my mindset is different now!
Hmms although a few days ago I was trying to tell myself that I do think its okay not to do well for this exam, actually I hadn't truly believe it yet. But now after my worst period with the preparation and seating for the FST exam on Sat, Econs this morn and Chem in the afternoon over, I am now believing more that it is indeed okay not to do well for this exam cos I really did my exams quite badly.
Half-answered questions and a whole 10-mark part left unanswered for FST exam; and for Chem exam, some parts totally unattempted and we were supposed to choose 3 out of 4 questions that were worth 20marks each and I only started on my 3th question in the last 5 minutes or so and wrote only a couple of lines for it. Well, I am accepting that I'm screwing up even my this supposed best subject. Oh my I didn't touch it at all during the whole reading week despite having half the content not even understood with all my numerous commitments depriving myself of time to let myself understand them and do the tutorials or even look at the solutions. Only started on it like after FST exam on saturday...
And I am accepting that I am also screwing up another module that I could have actually easily gotten an A (ie. econs) ifI had studied for it. Gosh my entire preparation for my econs exam includes just attempting the AY06/07 april paper (which I didn't even make use of the solutions I bought since I only realised this morning when I wanted to check my answer that that particular paper I did was actually the only one that the solutions were not included) and doing a rushed revision this morning for less than 1 hour, and checking with Sherman a few questions that I was more unsure about for my answer in the 15minutes or so before we had to enter the exam hall.
Anyway I'm blogging in the Central Library now. Hey I like the Dell keyboard! It feels so nice to type. haha.
Okay back to my original topic. My change of mindset also includes: It isn't "wasting time" to slack. It is actually human nature. Well in the past I always felt that I was "wasting time" when I am supposed to be studying but am not studying. Now I'm finally realised that its all okay and part of being a real person. haha. Gosh I had been making my mental life so hard.
2 days before exams yet I've studied nothing the whole of today
I didn't go to my grandma's house today because I intended to study chemistry and it probably needs the use of the computer, plus my aunt's not working today so she's at home. And the whole day has just passed with me studying nothing at all... How time flies when I'm at home. Not that time doesn't fly when I'm not at home.
But my memory is really weird. I just read through what I have blogged over the past few weeks and they seem to have happened much longer ago than just a few weeks. It like for what happened just last week seems like all the stuff had happened ermsss a few weeks or months ago? I don't know. Maybe I suffer from some gene mutation in my brain, so many things about me are so weird.
Anyway I'm thankful for having such nice friends. I messaged my JC good friend Justine about Psychology and she offered a listening ear even though this is such a critical period to study plus we haven't met for so long. And I messaged my relatively new good friend Sherman to ask for concentration tips and he also offered a listening ear.
But I haven't called them 'cos I don't want to distract them from studying even if they don't mind. Sigh. Me distracting myself is bad enough. And to quote Sarah, whom I share the same situation now (she can't concentrate either), I have never in my life been so slack for an exam. In the past I always aimed for the best that I could. And I usually ended up with A grades with all that consistent hard work I do. Well this time with me being so slack I just hope at the very least I pass.
Sigh. Earlier it was a passing thought. Then its changed into a consideration. But I must find out a lot more about the course before making any further decisions. I've already changed course once. I can't possibly keep changing or I'll probably be kicked out of university. erms actually I don't know what will happen.
Anyway I just looked up the module descriptions of several Psychology modules. They look pretty much what I'm interested in. Although I'm still not sure if its where my passion lies. Still, my choice of my SUJA - dreaming, a Psychology topic - could mean that Psychology could be something I really like. Most others in class did more typical science topics like genetic engineering, the big bang and evolution.
Hmms. I should ask current Psychology majors what the course is like and maybe approach professors too. A big issue is whether I can cope with Psychology, especially since its a lot of readings according to Justine. I'm quite a slow reader. I wonder exactly how the assessments are like. Most of the final exams are 40 or 50 or 60% and a few of the higher level modules have no final exams. But what exactly are they like. What are the term papers like. What are the presentations like. I have to find out before deciding.
oh no i may be suffering from some kind of "mental illness"
Well, I suppose its not very serious or pronounced since I haven't been sent to the mental hospital, (haha), but it might be present. Realised this after Vanessa told me (through virtual means this morning) that the things I do "scream OCD" so I went to google OCD since I don't know about it. I read through a Wikipedia article on it and identified that I show some of the symptoms of it. Sigh. This is not a good time to learn about some mental illness. Its 2 days before exam! Okayyy start studying! Maybe I shall go for a diagnosis after the exams. sianz. I wonder if I should switch course. To psychology? Problem is I'm lousy at writing. I really am not sure exactly where my passion lies. So far it seems that my strength is in Science, more specifically Chemistry and I tend to like things that I excel in. But what is my passion?? People? What?
I'm also lousy at memorising and it seems that introductory food science and biology is a lot of memorising. sianzz. Every time I see a point, I can't accept it and remember it unless I understand it. But in introductory food science and biology a lot of points are given. The understanding part, I suppose, comes in at higher levels. So its hard for me to study... Ok trrryyyyy.
Anyway I did memorising for my Social Studies and History exams at 'O' levels which means its not impossible. Extremely surprisingly I got A1 for my combined humanities for 'O' levels which I used to get Cs or failing grades in school tests and exams and A2s for all 3 sciences, even Chemistry which I used to get A1 and surprisingly Biology as well which I used to get erms I forgot what but its definitely something lousy. But that memorising was like 4 years ago! and that was after months of repeated contact with the materials! University is different... There's only 3 months within which students have to a lot to get in touch with, learn, remember and apply. And all this is over in 3 months. Actually its less than 3 months. sigh.
I think my university is still quite "backward" in terms of education methodology.
The very fact that examination results take up such a huge percentage of each module's Grade Point, which is the only contributing factor to the Cumulative Average Point (CAP), which determines what kind of degree one gets when one graduates from university, shows that this university is very "backward" in terms of education methodology.
Recently there's a move in the local education, towards less emphasis on exams. Today's Straits Times runs an article saying that there's a "jump in locals enrolling in international schools here" due to the "smaller class sizes, less focus on exams and special needs teachers". Although this represents a tiny minority, if I don't remember wrongly, the local schools are trying to place less emphasis on exams too. I know it takes time to decide what to change, how to change, and to actually implement the changes, but it seems that there's not much attempt to change in my university. In saying "not much" instead of "no", I mean I do see some attempts at changing.
This includes 2 of the modules I'm taking - Bahasa Indonesia and Communicating with the Academy. There's a complete change for BI since its totally continuous assessment, and for the latter its a small change with the exam taking up 40% of the Grade Point. Apart from these, there's another introductory science module that's has "Free S/U", which means students just have to attain a passing grade and it doesn't affect the CAP. However most of the other modules still place a lot of (and in my opinion, too much) emphasis on exams. Examples (based on the introductory modules I'm taking): Food Science - 60% Chemistry - 70% Economics - 70% General Biology - 60%
So whatever one gets for one's Grade Point for each module is mainly determined by how one performs during each two-hour period of the final exam for each module. This in turn determines what degree one gets at the end of the undergraduate years. No other factors are involved. Of course there are the Grade Point for modules taken in subsequent semesters, but most contribute equal to the CAP since most modules are 4 modular credits each.
This fact results in many students not participating in any other activities, including CCAs and knowing what's going on in the rest of the world (ie. by getting in touch with sources of news and information). Actually in JC, I think it was pretty beneficial that there was compulsory General Paper, as it "forces" everyone to find out about the rest of the world. But now in university, one chooses the modules one takes, so especially for Science students (erms I suppose Engineering too), if they don't choose any module that requires knowledge of the rest of the world, most probably won't bother finding out. Of course there are some who do, but these are the minority. I think its quite a "backward" move from JC because everyone is not just an individual but a part of the rest of the world. I do understand that to nurture people such that they possess the depth of knowledge to serve the various specialised areas, ensuring that these students do remember the knowledge and testing if they really do remember the knowledge by having examinations with heavy weightage is the easiest way for the lecturers. (ie. also the most efficient way for lecturers.)
However, I do not think its the best way of learning for students. I think there should be more continuous assessments. Yet there's the issue of time. I do understand that in a mere 13weeks, its very difficult to give continuous assessment, especially with the very limited number of teaching staff. So an improvement would be to recruit more teaching staff and increase the duration of each semester. A possibility is to shift the 1 week known as reading week to prepare for the final exams to some time within the semester. Thus there can be 2 recess weeks, ie. 2 weeks during which students can prepare for the continuous assessments that follow each recess week. So instead of just one mid-term period specified for tests, there can be two, and weightage from the final exams can be shifted to the tests in addition to other forms of continuous assessments, such as projects and assignments. Then the original 2 weeks from the final exams period can be shifted to be part of the semester time so that there is more time for learning. There can also be a third round of tests during the final week during the original lecture times or whatsoever arrangements similar to how the current mid-term tests are conducted.
So in my new proposed semester, the 17 weeks (originally 13 weeks of lessons + 1 recess week + 1 reading week + 2 exam weeks) would be changed to 15 weeks of lessons + 2 recess weeks, with the recess weeks scheduled at suitable intervals eg. one after the 5th week of lessons and one after the 10th week of lessons. So the test periods would be the 6th, 11th and 15th week of lessons. Hmms. It seems like there's no break to prepare for the 3rd round of tests. Okay a slight change. Let's make it 14 weeks of lessons + 3 recess weeks. So there's one more recess week after the 14th week of lessons and the 3th round of tests would be after the 3th recess week.
Yups I like my proposal. Okay enough of dreaming. I'm still living in this system (in my opinion a not-so-good one) where exams are so heavily weighted. Well, I still hope my proposal can become reality in the not-too-distant future. Of course any proposal has to go through evaluation and mine hasn't. Its still "raw" without the numerous refinements that are usually made before a proposal is implemented. Eg. the money factor to recruit more teaching staff so that they can manage the increased workload with continous assessments replacing 2-hour final exams.
See this world is so icky. Money is always a problem. A big reason why most people go through the education system in the way they do is to get good grades to get good jobs ie. one that pays well. Its not so much the more "right" reason of simply to learn.
Sigh its already 955am. The more time I have alone, the more I think, the less I study for exams. So I think the less necessary it is to score well for this coming exams since I've already screwed up my semester. In the past I always did consistent work. This time, I didn't do consistent work and end up having so much to try to understand at this last minute stage, so the less I want to study because its saturation of new knowledge.
Anyway, I finally started to arranged my notes only last Friday night, which was when I bought new files to put my notes. This is so pathetic. Over the whole semester my notes have just been stacked together in piles, which is so disorganised. So far I've only learnt half of food science and nothing else. So I've only filed my food science notes, and my chemistry notes which I filed last night before I went to sleep because I planned to start on chemistry today. But this morning when I woke up I don't feel like studying. I realised that I tend to only start to feel scared enough to concentrate on studying when night falls. Which means I'm a "night" person. But according to all the advices, we are supposed to sleep early for better learning. Which means effectively I only concentrate on studying for a few hours. Sigh.
Argh. I do know I'm screwed 'cos on Monday night when Sherman asked me about the questions he had after doing all the econs past year papers, I realised there's a lot I don't know and thus have to study for econs as well. But I haven't touched it at all. Those notes are still in a pile. Same for my general bio and communicating with the academy notes. Totally untouched.
i think staying on campus (in a residence) will make me a better person
I just cleaned my study room floor. The last time my mom mopped the whole house was on Sunday and today its already in a state that I can no longer stand when I'm studying. (Erms I think it has been in worse states before but I was having too many different commitments to bother. Now its just studying and though its a huge commitment its one boring commitment so I skip aside to do other stuff.)
Anyway, now I do want to stay on campus after learning about the existence of single-bedroom residence (ie. no crappy hall activities) with attached bathroom (important to have this, I hate having to go out to the communal toilet and bringing all the necessities each time to bathe, brush teeth blah). Hope my application to stay there in Sem2 gets through. I applied on Deepavali. erms. Oh about how it would make me a better person. Well usually I do like zero household chores. Apart from just now but this is because my parents are on holiday. When I stay on campus I would have to clean my room, wash my clothes, take care of everything all on my own, and so cherish all the things my mom does for me because when I stay on campus I will miss all that. How do I know? 'cos that was the case when I stayed in ny hostel. But after I moved home I took everything for granted again. Sigh. So may be if I do get to stay on campus for a few semesters I would become more fully independent and hopefully not change back into such a lazy poot when I stay at home again.
Plus staying in residence should allow me to study more during school time like how the foreign students especially the top foreign students do study a lot in addition to taking part in CCAs. Although staying in residence would mean I would have to wear boring clothes repeatedly every week and get very sian about it. I would also have to eat outside food for every meal and get extremely sian about it too. Hopefully I wouldn't miss home much so I can not go home during weekends like the case for the foreign students. Sigh, I went home like every weekend in my past experiences in ny hostel and ntu hall 'cos I had missed home. Not going home would mean I can have more time to do more useful stuff like studying (which is important to do during weekends since I would be filled with CCAs stuff during weekdays) and exercising and also enjoyable stuff like going out with friends!
Okay. Really do hope I don't screw up my next semester unlike what I have done for this semester...
I think CORS should have a warning message when a freshman tries to bid for a 6th module that they must not be both staying more than 1 hour away from campus and taking up a committee position in more than 1 CCA, especially if they do not have past experience in managing even just one committee position in a CCA. How did I (at the beginning of this semester), think that I, staying in the faraway Sembawang (which requires up to 1.5h to get to the science fac) could possibly manage 6 modules and 2 committee positions, especially when I never had any experience of being in any CCA committee at all, in addition to having to adapt to university life which is so different from JC life? Why didn't it ever cross my mind that it was impossible for me to manage? Why did I instead allow myself to have so much to do?
enlightenment! now i know a possible reason for my lack of concentration!
Well I'm supposed to back to my grandma's place after lunch to continue studying, but I gave myself excuses again and so am back at home to check my email and blog because just now while studying about minerals, I found out that IRON deficiency can lead to "inability to concentrate" (according to my lecture notes). Aha! That makes so much sense. Since also according to the notes, sources of iron include red meat and shellfish. I don't eat much red meat, especially liver. A book says that liver contains a lot of iron. It also says cockle contains 26mg per 100g. I hate the taste of shellfish. Hmm, that's probably why I possibly lack iron resulting in my poor concentration.
In fact I actually had a blood test a few years ago and the doctor put me on iron tablets for a few months. Maybe the problem is back again. Well, the book also says that "approximately 80% of women of child-bearing age are iron deficient" and "losses during menstruation can reach 15-20mg of iron per month". Well in addition to the fact that I don't eat iron-rich food, I fall into both of these categories now. Plus "the difficulty is that iron is poorly absorbed from the intestine, and the degree of absorption is highly dependent on the nature of the iron compounds in the diet". So I can deduce that I seriously lack iron now! Sianz.
Heez I just popped a multi-vitamin pill from a bottle on the shelf that holds the various bottles of pills. Don't know who it belongs to. Anyway it contains iron, albeit not a lot. 2.6mg of iron in the form of ferrous fumarate. Whatever that is. I thought of eating liver during lunch, but at the Kopitiam food court that I went to, the only liver was in Bak Chor Mee and I didn't feel like eating that today. So I still lack iron.
Sigh alright 1240pm already. Shooo.
Edited to add: Whoops. I forgot to mention. Yay the weather's pretty good these few days. Nice and windy. Walking to and fro both my grandmas' places allows me to enjoy the weather and thus cheer up a bit. (I have to take care of my maternal grandma now that my mom is on holiday and I go to my paternal grandma's place to study during office hours because she and my uncle and aunt are at work so its a more conducive place than home.) Okok shooooooooo!
What's the point of subjecting oneself to such "torture"?
I was bored again with studying so I went to read the newspapers (haven't been reading when there was school with all the numerous curricular, co-curricular and social activities). Then I saw this news about a guy who got his neck sliced open by a dangling cable, and this thought hit me. (Its not the first time I have such thoughts though.) Being alone allows plenty of thoughts to come to me. (My parents are in Bali on a holiday since Sunday evening and will only be back this Thursday after midnight. My bro and his girlfriend are at work.) And some memories came back to me. How pathetic I felt when I was staying at nanyang hostel "mugging" for A levels.
What's the point of subjecting oneself to such "torture"? I mean why make myself so miserable "mugging" for consecutive days? Some people say you have to look in the long-term. Study so that you get good grades so that you can get a good job in the future. BUT. If we really look at the "long-term", we die. So since we all die in the real long "long-term", my main aim in "life" is to lead a life I like and enjoy. "Mugging" isn't. Getting a good job? I really don't know. I was so "lost" after dropping out of NTU accountancy, not knowing what to do with my life. Dying has always been a passing consideration since years ago when I have such thoughts about the point in life, mainly when I am doing things that make me feel so miserable - usually its studying for exams. Of course its not a viable alternative. One does not have the courage.
Unlike the girl, age 9 from Philippines if I remember correctly, who committed suicide. I read about her a few weeks ago on another rather occasion that I was flipping through the papers. Her father was out of work for a few months, she and her mother had to work. She couldn't go to school and the day before she committed suicide, she asked for money for a school project from her father but he couldn't give her. (Erms, as usual my memory is poor so this may not be fully accurate but the idea is there.)
Furthermore, each individual is just a tiny part of the whole universe or universes whatever exists out there. I can't think of a better point in life than to lead a happy one, doing things oneself likes. Of course they mustn't be morally wrong. Anyone who is happy doing things that are morally wrong are better off sad, since making them happy would result in greater overall sadness.
Sigh. Thinking about grades again - now I'm again "wasting time" blogging instead of studying. Obviously the reason why I'm blogging instead of studying is that I like to blog and I don't like to study. BUT. How oh how oh how - grades... And the reason why I have so much (actually to be exact its everything) to study now is that I chose to do things I prefer (over studying) during school time. I chose to take part in 2 CCAs. I chose to hang out with friends. I chose to procrastinate. (Yes I'm procrastinating again now. Dang.) So now during reading week I finally realise I have screwed up my academics.
Oh ya earlier on I had another thought. What does the university (or in general the country) want from the students?
Nowadays the word is "all-rounder". Students are expected to excel in academics and CCAs including leadership. BUT. People in general are also expected to lead a balanced work-family-health life. How does a student spend enough time: 1) studying; 2) on CCAs; 3) with family; 4) taking care of one's own health, in terms of eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep; 5) with friends; 6) being a good person who shows concern for family and friends; 7) being a civilised cultured person who is patient and polite to people one meets in public places; 8) doing a part for the home - helping with some household chores; 9) for one's own relaxation?
Have the people up there ever seriously considered these? Since students here are in such a pathetic state (well if someone else says this without saying why like I've just did, I would have disagreed that our system is screwed, but after thinking through I realise it is.). Let me repeat since I've digressed. Since students here are in such a pathetic state, I think no one in power has actually thought through in the shoes of students. If anyone did, that person who have definitely realised it is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to fulfil all 9 expectations. Actually its understandable how difficult (maybe impossible) it is to put oneself in the shoes of a student when one is not going through all of that. So the various people up there just proclaim their expectations of a student and of a person in general, then of course a student is also "a person in general" so students end up with all the expectations that they are supposed to fulfil. On re-consideration, actually it should be 8 expectations - numbers 1 to 8. #9 is actually more a part of being a "human being" instead of an expectation.
Gosh. I have digressed so much for what I want to blog about initially I don't even know what exactly is going on with me. sigh. Too much studying, my brain is going crazy. It feels saturated now with too much overwhelming thoughts.
I miss laughter. More accurately I miss happiness. And true happiness is only found from people. Yet fully studying requires one to be isolated. That's why I feel so pathetic. I miss talking crap and laughing it off. I miss bickering and enjoying the arguments.
Okay back to the original topic. We are supposed to study to get good grades and thus a good degree to get a good job. But I don't even know what exactly a good job is. Well, to me it should be something that one enjoys doing, but what exactly is a job that I will enjoy doing? Is there one? If there is such a job, is getting a good degree essential to enable one to be able to get that job?
Basically getting a good degree is just a safety net since we still don't know what each of our good job is. For those who do know, eg. medical students, then its obvious they have to get a good degree to reach their dream job of being a doctor. For others who don't know, getting the best that one can is always the advice, ever since we start studying, ie. for PSLE, 'O' levels, 'A' levels and the numerous exams in between. These are the more significant ones though since even if one does not do well enough for the exams in between, as long as one excels in these major exams, the exams in between don't matter so much in the long term.
But now in university, every exam matters in the long term since they all contribute to the CAP. And in addition to academics, during the 13 weeks of school + 1 recess week, a good student ie. an "all-rounder" is expected to fulfil the 9 expectations. In the previous parts of education, more specifically Secondary and JC education, we have official breaks from CCAs to focus on studies a few months before exams. However in university, CCAs are on-going all the way until 1 week before exams. How is a student supposed to study for 5 different exams in 1 week?
Yea its my fault actually, that I didn't do consistent work through the semester since I wasn't as capable as to manage 6 modules and 2 CCAs well enough. Sigh. Alright I'm tired of one-sided argument. Its getting nowhere and faces diminishing returns. heez. econs. Anyway, one-sided argument fails to generate the fun I miss from arguing with people. and its already 1150pm! Aiyo spent 1.5hours blogging! Already time to sleep. gosh I was actually intending to sleep earlier today since I was already sleepy before I came to blog. argh. and I'm not even halfway through studying for food science exam that's this saturday. and I have neither touch chem nor econs at all, both exams on the coming monday. sigggghhhhhh. i'm really making myself screwed up. i am indeed freaked out and i do know i should concentrate on studying but after so many years of studying i am now so very bored of it. bah. sleeeeppp.
My notes are still wet after I left them overnight! My wallet too... Sigh... why does such a stupid thing have to happen at this critical time?? and after close examination I realise the ink that smudged is Pilot G-1 green ink. ie. important corrections. All the words written in that are totally gone. My precious notes! *faints*... Now my supposedly nice clean notes are in a dismal state :( Every look returns a pinch at the heart. *ouch**ouch**ouch**ouch**ouch*... ...
And its so freaking distracting me from studying! when there's already so little time left!
2pts: one, shit im sooo dead. two, 1st time really studying eversince A levels (ie. nearly 2years ago) made me so "gong" (sth like blur)
dead cos i realised i probably can't finish studying in time.
"gong" cos i dumped my bottle into my bag and later found out the cap wasn't screwed on.
i spent today's office hours studying at my grandma's place. only managed to study lipids and read carbohydrates. sooo slow..... gosh...............
now my stuff are wet... notes - some writings smudged, wallet - all receipts wet (maybe a signal for me to stop keeping and dump them, but my money?!), post-its etc.. darn... do i have to turn so blur just because i haven't done proper studying for 2years?!
hmmmmss can ask to postpone the fst exams?? diaozzzz
poofff.....
edited to add: shit! my temporary driving license (as in the receipt when i paid for the real thing) is wet too!! actually its already been in my wallet for over 3 months.. dumping time way overdue... but its such a significant receipt! sigh... shall just put all the stuff in one corner and procrastinate (as usual) handling them till after exams...
1st day of studying food science eversince the beginning of the course
Studying at home - very ineffective again - I slept from 11am to 1+pm.. and updated my class list with addresses and standardised the format from about 3 to 4+pm.
Anyway. I shall blog more helpful stuff. I finally learnt how to spell "polysaccharides". Kept getting it wrong and having to re-learn it.
Lipids. Tried to remember the list of saturated and unsaturated fats last night. Saturated fats 4C - Butryic 6C - Caproic 8C - Caprilyic 10C - Capric 12C - Lauric 14C - Myristic 16C - Palmitic 18C - Stearic 20C - Arachidic
Yay hope I didn't spell any wrongly. Used an acronym I made up: "Because Can't Cannot Can Learn More Play Still A?" Whoops I forgot what I put for A. haha.
Okay time to check with my notes to see if I got them right.
Wrong classifications! Should be saturated fatty acids and unsaturated fatty acids! Wrong spellings! haha actually I expected. cos I was unsure. Butyric Caprylic
More accurate classifications! Monoethenoic Acids Diethenoic Acids Triethenoic Acids Tetraethenoic Acids
oh ya, A is Alright. heez
and gosh my Water notes seem like a stranger to me. Are you sure you went for the lecture and took those notes less than 3 months ago? You don't even understand what you wrote, fenella.. retribution for not revising for your mid-term test! tsk tsk tsk... spent my whole day trying to revise Water but I just couldn't concentrate...
sigh.. just finished screwing up 1 mod.. please don't do this for your other 5mods fenella!
I was so freaked out during my Bahasa Indonesia oral exam today that I screwed it up... Probably have to use my 1st S/U already...
Well its all my fault, asking too much of myself.
What is my main aim of attending university? What do I want to achieve over my 3 or 4 years of university? To get a FST honours degree in 4 years? Or to learn other things that I like (but am lousy at)? Or to make more friends? Or to try to improve myself in terms of life skills and general knowledge?
Well before the start of this semester greedy Fenella wanted all of that. And now I've ended up beginning to screw up the supposed main aim of attending university - to get a good degree.
Okay. I think I should just take 5 modules next semester. Then continue with my 2CCAs. Hopefully by doing this I can achieve what I want without screwing up my academics...
I'm so darn good at appearing calm/confident even if I'm freaking out inside!
Even though I have already realised that I'm good at appearing calm when I'm freaking out inside (from previous pre-exams experience), it was today that I learnt that I seem confident during my oral presentation on my SUJA today even though I was freaking out inside!
Gosh. Its supposed to be a good thing but the bad thing is that people always think everything is fine and going well for me even when things are totally screwed up.
Eg. I was actually preparing for this presentation so last minute that I ended up reaching school at 1130am when I arranged to meet Sarah (who's in the same class and also presenting today) at 10am! Sigh..
Ok no time to blog actually. Cos I have a 5% Chemistry assignment due to submit online to IVLE by 2359 tonight but I haven't even understood the concepts behind the Molecular Orbital Theory to do the assignment.... Sigh... Now I have to change strategy from trying to understand from where I didn't understand (which is like the lecture from just after recess week ie. 6 weeks ago all the way till the most recent lecture) to another strategy of just trying to do the assignment by going straight to which ever lecture I could possibly find the answer.. Sianz.. I hate it that I'm not doing stuff in the way I think is "proper". All my fault taking up too many commitments I actually can't manage!!! 6 modules + 2 CCAs + stay more than 1hour away from school... + super procrastinating for individual work...
Oh ya, today was really bad because I was worrying so much about everything being so screwed up that I couldn't concentrate during my Chemistry and Food Science lectures today... Was so scared and worried most of the time during the lectures but as usual I appeared calm so nobody knew that I'm so screwed. I kind of broken down for a short while after the Chem lecturer replied me that there can be no extension for the assignment.. But recovered soon enough. Well...
Hmms... the busier I am the more I feel like blogging but I'm not supposed to!!!
And there's Bahasa Indonesia test tomorrow! 20%! and it doesn't have final exam so its really important to do well for this test.. I got like below average for the 1st 20% test... so dead... and there's 15% oral exam on Thursday. haven't studied!!!
And I've FST and CM lab reports due this Friday!! I'm really so going to "die". FST lab report half done, CM lab report today undone.
Anyway I'm blogging on my laptop on the train again. 7.06pm now. Argh I should go do "proper" stuff.
Okkkkk poofffff.
Oh yar to add, THE TAXI SYSTEM IN SINGAPORE IS SO SCREWED!!! I SPENT HALF AN HOUR TRYING TO GET A TAXI - waiting and even calling for a cab took SOOO LONG!
Edited to add: Ah another point to show how terribly screwed I am today - from 7am till now, I have only eaten a hotdog bread with bbq sauce (from Q bread, my mom got my dad who returned from night shift to buy for me) and a spinelli chocolate chip cookie (Sarah bought for me, so nice!). Furthermore the hotdog bun breakfast was eaten only on the taxi to school ie. at 11am when usually I must eat my breakfast within one hour of waking up! Wah if my mom didn't get my dad to buy the bread for me and if Sarah didn't buy the cookie for me, I probably won't eat anything until after my presentation which is during the 4-6pm SP1202 class. And I always eat a proper lunch so really goes to show how screwed today is. Alright buzz off to have my proper dinner and start on work! already 8.10pm~!
Why Fenella dropped out of NTU accountancy? What happened to Fenella before and after that?
Hmms actually I had the idea of blogging about this on Tuesday morning (6Nov07) on my way to school in the morning for CM1101 tutorial, but I had no laptop with me so it was delayed till today - Deepavali! 12.30pm. I'm on the train to Dohby Ghaut MRT now for our 1st CSS outing. Brought my laptop out too with the intention to blog on the train heez. Luckily I found a seat! All the other seats are occupied now.
Ok so back to the topic. Aiya, all my sudden flow of memories not with me now, think think.. OK DISCLAIMER: since it was more than a year after all these occurred, plus I have a terrible memory, all the below are just what I think I remember, not necessarily 100% the whole story...
Let me start from the camps. So I went for the Nanyang Business School Freshmen Orientation Camp in about mid-July. From what I remember of the whole thing, it was really terrible because I was extremely tired after Day1. The first night my OG was the last to bathe and turn in at some Chalet (I forgot which). Me and a few other girls went to bathe and by the time we went to sleep, it was like I think only half an hour or an hour before the time we were supposed to wake up. I really couldn't take it (although I had experience of not sleeping for one whole night for class chalets back during secondary school days, this was much more tiring due to the numerous physical activities we had). So subsequent days I went around feeling really lacking of energy and enthusiasm. So I was kind of like a loner, in addition to not being able to click with most of the people. sigh. If I don't remember wrongly, I even fell asleep sometimes suddenly. Ah I remember feeling like I was a "walking corpse". Of course there were fun stuff but I didn't really like alot of the activities. And not having people whom I click with was a big issue. Although I survived well as a loner in my life before that (by loner I don't mean anti-social, I just mean quiet and not pro-active such that I don't have much cliques like most girls do, of course I do behave like a normal person who's friendly when approached and have good friends), in this camp it was really bad.
Well looking back now, I think its because of the "different frequency". As in my personality allows me to click with Science people in general and not with Biz people in general. NOTE the "in general"! Because I do have friends whom I can click (oh ya is my spelling of this word right, I think its wrong haha, but I don't care). Ok back to friends. Yups, I do have friends whom I can click with who are in Business schools now. Including good friends :)
Ok and then I went for the Hall Six camp which was better than the NBS FOC but over my 4 weeks' stay (excluding before school started when I stayed there for the camp), I really didn't like the experience of staying in the hall.
1.10pm. Oh I've reached The Mind Cafe! Dots! The whole gang from PGP hasn't reached yet. And the reservation is from 1pm lor. Anyway shall continue with my blogging.
Ok so about why I don't like staying in hall. Erms. Although I've stayed in NY hostel for several months during J2, NTU hall is a totally different experience. (yar expected..)
6.06pm. On my way home le. Aiyo my train of thoughts got cut off again.
Ya, I didn't like the way of living in hall, like going out for every meal with hall mates, including the suppers, and going to others' rooms to hang out. I didn't like doing those stuff yet I felt pathetic that I'm not doing those stuff 'cos the others were. Then everything was very troublesome eg. 1) the washing and hanging dry of clothes (worrying about people stealing our clothes if they weren't the cheapo ones - there really were thievies around, my mop that I left on my shoe rack got stolen and people were saying their undergarments got stolen) 2) going home during weekend and having to lug my stuff home and back 3) having to print notes at home or in the computer room at school There was also lack of personal space.
However, these were just supporting causes. The main reason I quit was that I really hated what I was studying. Actually nowadays when I tell people, I don't use that strong word, I just said "didn't like", but in fact, I really hated. And academic stuff that I hate is really a big deal thing because I have never ever hated any of the subjects I had to learn as far as my memory goes. Somehow I was able to think in ways to develop liking (or at least no significant negative feelings) for everything I ever learnt, whether I did well or not. Including those that many people dislike eg. General Paper, Social Studies. So it was really terrible when I didn't like those modules I was taking in NTU accountancy sem 1 - Organisational Behaviour and Design, Marketing, Statistics, and a module I forgot the name but its like for grooming of interview and presentation abilities that kind of thing. There was also Economics initially which although I was exempted, I didn't accept the exemption cos it was revision for subsequent relevant modules but after the 1st lecture, I took up the exemption (further requested since it was already past the due date) because I didn't the way that lecture went.
Another important supporting cause I think is that over the first few weeks, there wasn't really anyone whom I got to click with. So this in addition to hating and not being able to cope with the understanding of all the modules resulted in me deciding on the weekend after the fourth week of school to quit.
It seemed very sudden but actually it was because I was already crying every few days due to the above reasons. Well, I'm generally quite a cheery person so breaking down so often shows how bad I found it. So finally I made the decision after 4weeks of school to quit. Again in the midst of crying to my mom.
Of course my parents were trying to discourage me and especially my father, who was wanting me to go back and finish at least one semester. But as usual the stubborn me who has made her decision refused to listen.
On the Monday after that Sunday when I made the decision, my mom took leave to accompany me to Junction 8 to "destress". We watched a movie but I didn't feel like shopping. I remember her showing me a bag from Charles and Keith that was pretty and suitably sized for uni students but we didn't buy it cos I thought I'm not even going back to school anymore, what's the point of buying a bag for that purpose.
Then there was more attempts to persuade me to go back, but I said since I really didn't want to. Furthermore I already started to miss lessons in addition to not being able to cope with the understanding, I would be lagging even more if I went back.
Over the next few weeks, I spent my time at home sleeping and eating and reading newspapers and sleeping and watching TV and eating and sleeping. Totally crapped out.
In between my mom and aunt accompanied me back to Hall to get my stuff back and check-out. They even wanted to get me to go speak with the Dean to get advice but I refused, not seeing any point in doing that.
6.56pm. Reach home le. Ok according to my schedule I'm already way back time. kk shall just try to finish this up.
Hmm. Yar so after starting school in early August 2006 and quitting in early September 2006, oh ya! I forgot to mention. I had my first driving test in mid-September '06. Fell sick the day before so I went for the test in illness. Anyway I was expected to fail, since I've been doing badly during the learning. Yar then there after I stopped attending lessons since I didn't even know what to do with my life, especially academically.
Then about early October 2006, I finally decided to get a part-time job in the F&B industry. I looked through the classified ads but didn't call up anyone. Oh ya, my mom brought me to see a counsellor at the nearby Family Centre. I felt he was quite not helpful at all. Not a pro person la. And I don't listen to people whom I think are not pro. So although I politely attended that first session, I didn't go back for the second session. Then my mom got my aunt to accompany me for an interview. Actually I saw that classified ad that my mom cut for me too. I just didn't do anything about it. It was only after my mom made the arrangements that I went for the interview at Hitachi Towers and subsequently got offered a job as a Service Staff at The Sandwich Shop. There were 2 other outlets and I was sent to the outlet at Raffles Link which was where the boss was at too. I was also later sent to the other outlet at Robinson Road and before I quit I was sent to the Hitachi Towers outlet as well. The Sandwich Shop serves mainly the working adults (mostly foreigners) in the CBD area so it was quite a learning experience. Actually I was quite bad at my job cos of my slowness and my personality. But well.
Anyway, so I worked there till just before Christmas 2006. Oh they had a Christmas party. Anyway so after Christmas my mom was going to Hanoi, Vietnam for 2days of work so she got me to go with her as a form of relaxation since I still didn't know what to do with my life. The wife of her boss went along too. Hrmms. I didn't really find the trip good, but my mom did enjoy herself.
After we came back, I think it was some time in mid-January 2007 that I decided to attend to uni again since there wasn't much of anything else to do. Working wasn't a viable option. Then I decided to apply for NUS FST. Unfortunately (but now looking back I consider it "Fortunately"), it was already too late to apply for Semester 2 so I had to join my "juniors" of one year to enter year 1 again in AY07/08.
Ok I shall elaborate on why I consider being delayed one year instead of half a year as compared to my peers "fortunate". Its because of the nice people around me now, people whom I can click with. Oh ya, another important point is that I found 2 CCAs in NUS that I like and joined them as compared to a big ZERO at NTU. Haha I suppose this changing of university is a huge turning point in my life. To think I didn't even consider applying to NUS at all back in 2006 after collecting my 'A' level results, and now liking NUS so much more than NTU which was the only university I applied to in the usual period right after 'A' levels.
Well its actually quite unfair to compare the two universities like that, since I was around Business people in NTU while now I'm around Science people. But really other stuff like the feeling the campus gave me, and stuff I've previously blogged about like the pro-active support system of Career Centre and Counselling Centre. When I quit NTU their counselling didn't pro-actively look for me. Oh actually I've to admit they did call, but I was ignoring them la. heez. They didn't make me feel that they were approachable. Unlike NUS, which had the workshops even before school started that I got to attend and felt their warm welcome and gave me the feeling that they were very approachable right from the start.
Ok, so after entering NUS there's even more change in me, like being more vocal, instead of my previous more timid self back in sec sch and in NTU. Oh and taking significant steps to improve my "public-speaking" skills like making announcements to a lecture theatre of hundreds for CSS. Well I think its kind of lucky that I got into the committees of 2 CCAs that allow me to develop lifeskills, despite having totally ZERO leadership experience.
Hmms about the making announcements part. Actually initially I was the only one given the job of doing it for CM1101, but due to fear, I got Keying to accompany me. The first experience was 1st October 2007 (Mon). (Erms I'm checking my organiser la. My lousy memory just tells me "very long ago" but after checking, its only slightly over a month ago!) And after 2 announcements I developed sufficient confidence to do a reminder announcement on my own! did I? Erms from my memory I think I did, geez not very sure though. Anyway according to my organiser again, this was on 25 October 2007 (Thu), which is just 2 weeks ago but too seems like very long! Gosh. Guess its because there are soooo many things happening, time seems to pass very quickly yet things that happened seem to be very far back in my memory even if they were so recent. Umms. Actually my public speaking skills are still very lousy. Hope that with more experience it will improve. Well it should as like all things that improve with more experience.
Gosh I'm sooo unhealthy today. Deep fried chicken, breaded fish, fries and crackers for lunch at The Mind Cafe, and I just had Tung-I Instant Noodles and Bakkwa for dinner. Oh ya about today. It was so fun! Different kind of fun from yesterday's though. Today's is fun from games. The most fun was Taboo! There were Jinhong, June, Keying, Wei Jie, Siew Qi, me and Weicong playing and it was so funny cos of the words/actions used to try to get the right words guessed. Team 1 included June, Wei Jie and me while team 2 included Jinhong, Keying and Siew Qi. Weicong joined later so he was in sort of helping both groups. Team 1 kind of won but it was not totally fair since the Singaporeans were stronger at English and in Team 1 there were two of us while there was only one in Team 2. Still it was much fun :) There was also another very fun game but I don't know the name. There were sets of 9 cards of dinosaurs colour coded and we had to swop with the colours faced down until we got all 9 of the same colour. Then the first person to have that having to quietly take a bone from the centre (of 6 bones since there were 7 of us) of the table and everyone else has to take a bone too until the last person has no bones to take and has to do a forfeit. After the first round June kena, we played again to have another person accompany her to do the forfeit but she kena again the 2nd round! So it was quite hilarious. Siew Qi came up with the idea of singing "Happy Birthday to Me" to someone else then saying "It's not my birthday" in the end. lol. Actually the suggestion was to sing to an outsider but June did it to Boontiong. Aiya since it was all good natured fun nobody insisted. Then in the 3rd round June was the first one to take the bone but end up that she didn't have all 9 cards of the same colour, haha. Next Jinhong kena so they were made to sing a short part of a duet. heez. So cute. cos naturally they were kind of embarrassed.
okok 830pm liaos! more than enough time spent on blogging! (lol shouldn't be blogging at all considering that there are soooooo many things undone!) but well as I've mentioned, this is a huge turning point in my life so I better record it down before I forget even more of it. No time to proofread! hope everything makes sense heez..
YAY! Today's one of the most emotionally fully satisfying wonderful day in a longggg time!
This is in stark contrast to yesterday when I totally broken down (at home) , also hadn't happened for quite long. Well does this mean life is fair? haha.
Anyway yups about today! Well its "emotionally fully satisfying wonderful" because there were people I like around me for most of the time from start of the day (~8am) till I left school (~10pm)! :) In chronological order, really glad to have these people around me: Sherman, Clement, Ms Yin (my Econs TA), Weicong, Keying, Kaeshan, Jinhong, Edward, Boontiong, Weibin, Vanessa Huang, Peigen and Amelia! Especially Sherman and my FST friends Weibin Van Pg Amelia cos of the extended period of happy contact, the whole morning and the whole evening+night respectively. (though Weibin was missing half the night cos of Bettens Q&A session n Amelia too cos of lessons but they contributed to much of the fun too). Had lots of laughter and although I didn't manage to do as much academic stuff as I had hoped cos of all the chatting in the Science library with my FST friends, I enjoyed the experience very much.
Sigh my CM1101 is quite screwed though. (not that the other modules are good..) And there's CSS 1st outing tomorrow! So time for academics is significantly affected. But it would be great fun too I think - I will be going to Minds Cafe (in fact any board games cafe) for the first time!
Would love to blog about all the happenings today, but due to time constraint (lol), have to go! hai. just got home sia so very tired.
Yay today Ibu Indrianti praised me! haha. and yay I'm getting to know my new friends more!
Heez. I attended the Friday 8-10am TB tutorial class on my own accord last week although I had already attended my own tutorial class of Thursday 6-8pm. The tutor of that Friday lesson, Ibu Eli told both my TA and TB tutors about it! Then today Ibu Indrianti praised that I'm very diligent for attending an extra lesson on my own :)
okie no time to blog more though I'd love to!
oh ya another yay! Weibin organised a badminton session for tomorrow! and I can make it so yay this will be the first time I'm exercising eversince I-don't-know how long ago! Gosh even a few flights of stairs or walking quickly for a short upward slope makes my breath quicken and my legs aching (from lactic acid)!
Have Read
'04 year-end holidays (highest number of books read in a long time)
-The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (gd read)
-Princess Diaries: Third Time Lucky by Meg Cabot (fun read)
-Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom (must read - inspirational)
-Slab Rat by Ted Heller (full of office politics and R21 stuff - not for kids)
-The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (makes u want to finish it)
-A walk to remember by Nicholas Sparks (simple but meaningful)
-The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark (can identify with)
-The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks (romantic love story with too much R21 stuff)
-Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks (even more R21. ugh)
-The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery
-Unstrung Heroes by Franz Lidz (autobiography about his four uncles and father)
-The Rescue by Nicholas Sparks
-The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (very unique POV of an autistic boy)
-The Summerhouse by Jude Deveraux (love the breadth of the plot, one of my favourites)
-Wild Orchids by Jude Deveraux (alternating between two first persons' view - unique, but don't like e plot)
-Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder (philosophy tb in a story; gets abit dry though plot saved)
-forgot what i read...-
-Working Wonders by Jenny Colgan (story of an urban planner)
-Angels and Demons by Dan Brown (impressive intelligence with bits of great humour)
-Just between Us by Cathy Kelly (thickest bk i've ever read-600+pg, too long for me but not bad)
ha, started a few bks but didn't enjoy them enough to read more.
'06
-Life of Pi by Yann Martel (novel based on true story; a lot to learn from the book - animals, religions,
survival, appreciation of simplicity; marvelous descriptions of both the tangible and the intangible,
such that I could feel their realness; bits of very enjoyable humour; a must read)
-The Complete Analects of Confucius, Volume 1 - Asiapac Comic Series (some good teachings.
didn't read everything though)
-The Parable of the Pipeline by Burke Hedges (lent to me by Shujun; like she said, its a short version
of Rich Dad Poor Dad - good financial tips)
-The Alchemist by Paul Coelho (simple story with deep meaning)
-Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results
(hai, doesn't seem to be working for me - cos im not applying..)
-haven't been updating from Jun'06 to Jul'07-
'07
-Take a Chance by Sarah Webb (very interesting twist towards the end)
'08
-A Child Called "It" by Dave Pelzer (very saddening. made me realise how significant family is in how a child behaves)
-Whatever You Think, Think the Opposite by Paul Arden (refreshing book with many pics)
-The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Rui Zafon (amazing how people can think of so much plot to pack into one book, wld b a gd tv series)
-The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (the story is interesting but i think the ending cld hv been better written)
-This Book Will Save Your Life by A.M. Homes (a bit thought-provoking on relationships but i didnt like e abrupt ending)
-Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner (gd knowledge but partly qte repetitive)
-For One More Day by Mitch Albom
-The C Words by Mark Mason (made me keep wanting to read on. light & funny)
'09
-Return to Summerhouse by Jude Deveraux (another good read from Deveraux)
-The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (gosh such vivid descriptions! very well written book. i liked d theme of friendship and the realness of the story)
'10
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro (a must-read!! i love the expressed thoughts of the protagonist, esp those about friendships, and the writing style - it seems like she's telling me her story specifically to me)
How to Save Your Own Life by Michael Gates Gill (an inspiring read, for emotional liberation and greater joy in life)
Reading
on hold
The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals by Michael Pollan
Waiting for chance to get hold of
The Little White Car by Danuta de Rhodes
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
Le Scaphandre Et Le Papillon or The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
My Left Foot by Christy Brown
Gotai Fumanzoku or An Unsatisfactory Body (Translated into English as No One's Perfect) by Hirotada Otatake
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
Other Recommended Readings by Marc
The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin – Few books have had as significant an impact on the way society views the natural world and the genesis of humankind.
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell – Gladwell looks at how a small idea, or product concept, can spread like a virus and spark global sociological changes. Specifically, he analyzes “the levels at which the momentum for change becomes unstoppable.”
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens – This is a tale that lingers on the topic of attaining and maintaining a disciplined heart as it relates to one’s emotional and moral life. Dickens states that we must learn to go against “the first mistaken impulse of the undisciplined heart.”
Lolita – This is the kind of book that blows your mind wide open to conflicting feelings of life, love and corruption… and at times makes you deeply question your own perceptions of each. The story is as devious as it is beautiful.
Getting Things Done by David Allen – The quintessential guide to organizing your life and getting things done. Nuff said.
How To Cook Everything by Mark Bittman – 900 pages of simple instructions on how to cook everything you could ever dream of eating. Pretty much the greatest cookbook ever written. Get through a few recipes each week, and you’ll be a master chef by the time you’re 30.
Honeymoon with My Brother by Franz Wisner – Franz Wisner had it all… a great job and a beautiful fiancée. Life was good. But then his fiancée dumped him days before their wedding, and his boss basically fired him. So he dragged his younger brother to Costa Rica for his already-scheduled honeymoon and they never turned back… around the world they went for two full years. This is a fun, heartfelt adventure story about life, relationships, and self discovery.
Self-note: Tip for my future business =D
give employees reasonably high pay to keep them- otherwise they are unlikely to stay loyal.
treat employees not according to how well they treat me but how conscientious they are at work
(of course, musn't expect them to only do work throughout the entire working hours -
give some breathing space too, we are humans, not machines) Movies watched(listing started on 6jan08)
in cinema from VCD/DVD
1Sep07: "Hairspray" w TK, GH & SH
14Sep07: "Ratatouille" w mom & extended family
28Dec07: "The Pianist" w Jus & Pam (heartbreaking but good lessons; i recommend!)
2Jan08: "I Am Legend" w Sherm (scary! but good acting; thought provoking; i recommend!)
5-6Jan08: "A Good Year" alone (excellent show! i like the acting; funny; good lessons; touches my heart; i recommend!)
11Jan08: "Le Grand Chef" w WLing, JT & Irene (good! funny, very touching, :) nice; watch if like humour+meaning+food)
7Feb08 (CNY 初一): "Ah Long Pte Ltd" w parents (pretty hilarious - but u gotta understand dialects, some teary parts. wells typical of jack neo movies but with diff content)
11Mar08: "The Leap Year" w Sherm (so sweet! :) and apart from couple relationship it touches the theme of mother-daughter and best friends too)
6Jun08: "P.S. I Love You" w Sherm (don't know if its coz we watched it on laptop, coz it didn't impress me as much as it did for him in cinema)
8Jun08: "The Forbidden Kingdom" w Lisa, Karen & Sandy (ums..guess i'm really not into kungfu)
8Jun08: "What Happens in Vegas" w Lisa, Karen & Sandy (simple,relaxing show)
7Jul08: "我和狗狗的10个约定" w Sherm, his ma & sisters (very simple,touching but actually not my type of show)
10Jul08: "Before Sunrise" w Sherm (hmm maybe watchg on laptop really affects appreciatn of movies..)
30Sep08: "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" w Sherm (i didn't like it as much as i thought i wld when i saw the ads)
31Dec08: "Yes Man" w Mom (inspiring and funny)
11Feb08: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" w Mom (not as impressive as i thought it wld be)
1Jul09: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" w Yumei, YY & Matt (the best thing was the soundtrack. heh.)
14Aug09: "GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra" w Joyce (it was awesome! best action movie i've ever watched)
17Aug09: "Food, Inc." w SYL & RuiQ (learnt some stuff abt the American food industry but it was a bit boring and not worth the $10)
22Sep09: "The Time Traveller's Wife" w WB, VanD, WLing, CHL, Irene, VanQ, Mf, Pg (i liked it. having read the book really helps w udsg)
21Nov09: "Gokusen" w Mf, Eva, Tony, Sarah (funny inspirational movie)
24Dec09: "十月围城" w Tony, WLing, VanQ (action action and a bit funny? tony criticised the plot. my fav scene was the running n jumping through the crowd along the five-foot ways w/o cuts)
30Dec09: "Sherlock Holmes" w Irene, Tony, Sweetee (my favourite genre of books made into a movie - what else can be more cool? acting effects humour excitement suspense all in)
12Jan10: "Avatar 3D" w Mom (didn't appreciate the digital effects which everyone wowed about. content etc was so-so. cathay's 3D glasses were too heavy for me)
8Feb10: "The Truman Show" w Ky n sis n Yuhshin (a must-watch. very thought-provoking, funny. reminder to be spontaneous and create your life the way you want, instead of falling into a typical routine
14Feb10: "New York, I Love You" w Mom (I loved it! a good couple movie with meaningful pointers to keep it going. but i think some stories could be more developed)
16Feb10: rewatched "The Pianist" (still find it good, tho i still feel first viewings are the best)
17Feb10: "Valentine's Day" w CHL n WB (laughed throughout - a feel-good movie; liked the fact that the various stories binded tog so well with the little surprises here and there, vs NY ILU in which each story was separate)
20Feb10: "赤壁二" w Addy, Karen, Sharon, SJ (should have watched the first one first cos i ended up not knowing who's who and what's happening and had to keep asking :/ and couldn't pay attn.. if not i think it should be a pretty good movie..)
4Mar10: "Alice in Wonderland 3D" w Mf (i found the 3D effects of this @ CCK Shaw SO much better than Avatar @ The Cathay =/ and the movie was much more enjoyable too! - cheered a sad me up :)) favourite quote - the Mad Hatter: “You used to be much muchier before. ... You have lost your muchness.”)
18Mar10: "Nodame Cantabile" w Irene, Mf (i thoroughly enjoyed some of the orchestra pieces - SO impressive! the expressions of the actors were really amusing :D)
23Apr10: "Ice Kacang Puppy Love" w Mom (funny, touching and meaningful - about love between friends and family. i cried 3 tissues! cos some touching parts i could really understand the feelings of the characters involved)
Inception
Letters to God (very simple Christian movie)
22Nov10: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" w Ame, Irene (they loved it. pretty good, i guess the main problem i had was that im not familiar with HP :X)
13Dec10: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" w Sj (not bad, could follow the story unlike HP. like the meaningful teachings, too long - in a post)
2Mar11: "The King's Speech" w Ame (hilarious, inspirational, tho it doesn't impress me that much to understand why it's the Oscar winner)
Mar11: "10 Things I Hate About You" very funny. silly sweet high school romance. just right for having breaks in between doing homework
23May11: "Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides" w Wb Yl Ame Pg (pretty good - scenery, freakish parts, fighting scenes, dressing, humour, bits of Christianity like when the Spanish said "only God gives life")
6Jun11: "Xmen First Class" w Wb Ame Pg (i was very keen on watching it and it was really good! intellectual, makes sense, cool action, some humour)
9Jun11: "Legally Blonde 2" w Irene (seems like some dumb blonde movie but kind of meaningful too - speaking up for yourself and what you stand for)
17Jun11: "Something Borrowed" w Sandy Lisa (quite funny, somewhat meaningful wrt friendships. they didn't like the lack of sense for one part tho)
16Jul11: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" w Irene, Sweetee, Kw (not bad. i didn't understand some parts again but the humour and effects were pretty good)
Aug11 "Horrible Bosses" w Ma (she fell asleep! gosh. the movie was very crude i must say but there was the humour)
25Oct11: "The Three Musketeers" w H (i would rate it 3.5 for humour/intellectual language and 4 for action. it's by the same producer or director as Sherlock! but a bit less awesome albeit a good chill out movie)
5Nov11: "Real Steel" w Hl (action packed but not too hardcore for me. i liked that there was the father and son element and how the father eventually softened his heart and especially the part when charlie was having trouble telling max sth and max was so understanding saying "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." touching and demonstrates true fighting spirit)
12Dec11: "50/50" w L (adopting her words - a heavy topic put across in a lighthearted way, but not taking away d meaning. most of it was rather hollywood-ish trashiness but there were a couple of punch lines "u can't change ur parents, but u can change d way u respond to them.")
25Dec11: "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol" w KY (ultimate action packed! super tense almost throughout the movie, and interesting Tom Cruise made it such that not everything happened smoothly - he would jump and misland and get all sorts of injuries..it's really the courage to jump without hesitation even though you are not sure you'll be alive after that. KY loved d movie and said she would watch it again!)
3Jan12: "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" w KY (i love mystery (: and the witty sarcastic dialogues. good level of excitement with the action. didn't understand some parts as usual. i like Holmes and Watson they depict such a true pair of buddies ;D)
23Jan12: "You are the Apple of My Eye" w mom (now i understand why guys like this movie so much - the anxiety of chasing after a girl and the acts schoolboys do to get the girl's attention and hopefully affection. the initial fluttering and the subsequent quarrelling)
22Mar12: "The Iron Lady" w KY (really love Thatcher's sharp words. inspiring and thought-provoking, tho i was still left uncertain of what to do with my life, the movie is definitely an encouraging one)
29Mar12: "Barney's Version" w SJ (a funny movie of a screwed up life of a man who had 3 wives, smoked and drank but very heartwarming at the same time, the relationships with the dad and the 3th wife - quotable quotes!)
27Apr12: "The Hunger Games" w Mom
4May12" "Avengers" w MF n PS (funny, action-packed)
7Jul12: "The Amazing Spiderman"
21Jul12: "The Dark Knight Rises" (fantastic depth, loved the twists)
20Aug12: "ParaNorman" w Mom (simple funny animated movie, heartwarming support)
Performances watched (listing started on 25Apr10)
20Jan10: Patrick Marber's Closer by outoftheBLUE, NUS Science w Pam (
13Mar10: The Rain Came Down Like Pearls the Night I Died... The New Musical - Sing & Tell by Mark Chan w Addy & Jy
21Mar10: Quintessence by NUSCO w CHL